Action sports stars are pretty radical human beings. But most of them can’t write tweets for shit.
No, really. Broadly speaking there tend to be two types:
1) The Twitter accounts are so heavily monitored by their agents (and probably written by them too) that they’re just one long spiel of dull sponsor-loving links. These are mostly boring as hell!
2) The Twitter accounts where the star themself sounds off, or just brain burps into the Twittersphere, often with unintentionally hilarious consequences. These are much more interesting, as these 10 classic moments show…
1) Anastasia Ashley thinks about changing her dating tactics
Should I try tindr?
— Anastasia Ashley (@AnastasiaAshley) July 26, 2014
Errr… yes? (Cue every man in the world frantically swiping right)
2) Downhill Mountain bike joker Josh Bryceland shows how to win over the ladies
Josh Bryceland may win legs of the Downhill World Cup, but he’s also got a flair for the ridiculous…
love farting in snazzy nightclubs
— Josh Bryceland (@Ratboy_Bryce) July 4, 2014
whats a good mattress shop? i wanna get laid
— Josh Bryceland (@Ratboy_Bryce) April 17, 2014
3) BMX hardman Harry Main reveals his soft side
Harry Main: The tattoo-covered, heavy metal loving, Liverpudlian BMX rider… who really loves his mum’s dog and has the same grasp of grammar as an 11-year-old girl.
got my mums dog back omg!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D
— Harry Main (@Harrymainbmx) May 21, 2014
4) Freestyle skiier Tom Wallisch is impressed by the simple things in life
He’s won multiple X Games and Dew Tour gold medals and travelled the world as a professional skiier. But the little things never cease to amaze this American…
Oh wow! A double rainbow. pic.twitter.com/0JTdKZnu8P
— Tom Wallisch (@TWallisch) July 21, 2014
5) Surfer John John Florence gets confused
Hawaiian native John John Florence has been pipped as the “next Kelly Slater” but he gets a little confused when left on dry land too long.
Why do they say Xmas ? Hahah What does the X have to with anything ?
— john john florence (@johnjohnflorenc) December 25, 2011
I still don't understand what your supposed to tweet on twitter? ahah
— john john florence (@johnjohnflorenc) August 13, 2012
You don’t say?
6) Surfer Joel Parko demonstrates a flair for the mundane
watching tennis right now…. it's so good
— Joel Parkinson (@joelparko) January 27, 2011
The man has taken on some of the heaviest waves in the world and beaten Kelly Slater at Pipeline. Good thing he puts all the interesting stuff on Twitter!
7) Skateboarder Nyjah Huston suffers from #firstworldproblems
I need to stop spending so much money on maids!
— Nyjah Huston (@Nyjah_Huston) February 23, 2013
Oh, Nyjah we’re playing the world’s smallest violin for you.
8) Olympic snowboard gold medallist Sage Kotsenburg demonstrates his decent sense of humour
The best quote of his from the Sochi Olympics – on prepping for the slopestyle finals: “I was eating mad snacks. Chocolate. Onion rings. Chips. We were chilling really hard. Then we fell asleep watching Fight Club. Getting stoked, you know?”
I have no idea what I am looking at pic.twitter.com/Ynl3U06igW
— sage kotsenburg (@sagekotsenburg) July 29, 2014
— sage kotsenburg (@sagekotsenburg) April 18, 2014
9) Snowboarder Shaun White gets all philosophical
— Shaun White (@shaun_white) June 2, 2014
Or should that be #ponce?
10) Surfer Jordy Smith overshares about his lovelife
So cheesy you can smell the gorgonzola… no-one needs to know this stuff!
— Jordy Smith (@jordysmith88) November 10, 2013