In what’s being dubbed, by those with a vested interested at least, as a giant leap for mankind; adult entertainment giant Pornhub have announced they’re looking to raise $3.4 million for a ‘sexploration’ mission. In a nutshell, they want to get people “doing it” in zero gravity while other people record it on cameras.

The fundraising initiative, which they’re doing through investment website IndieGoGo, has currently raised just over $50,000 in its first week. You don’t need to be a mathematician, or a ‘sexmatician’ for that matter, to notice that they’re currently a long way from the target. That being said, there is over 50 days to go so…who knows?

“Newton…never once stripped seductively out of his spacesuit and orbited the earth like a naked starfish.”

In the unlikely event that this thing actually goes ahead, Pornhub have announced that the film would star Eva Lovia and Johnny Sins (pictured at the top). Continuing with the general theme of putting the word ‘sex’ before everything, the pair have announced they’d like to be the world’s first ‘sextronauts.’

This campaign video (see above), posted on IndieGoGo, is well worth a watch. It’s a mission statement from Lovia and Sins, and it’s ridiculous. The clip also features a man named Oswald Bean, standing in front of a green screen and telling us why we should all be excited about the scientific significance of the potential mission.

It’s a pretty wooden performance from old Oswald and, to be honest, we’re not entirely sure he’s even a real Space Advisor. That being said, he does make some great little hand gestures that we’ve childishly turned into some enjoyable gifs (see below).

In a recent interview with Motherboard, Pornhub had this to say about the ‘sextronauts’ and the impact their work could have on the human race: “Johnny Sins and Eva Lovia will be mentioned in the same conversation as Einstein, Isaac Newton, Marie Curie, Galileo and Stephen Hawking.”

No, come on, be fair to Pornhub. Marie Curie might have been the first woman to win a Nobel Prize but did she ever do a backward-facing-burrito with a chemically-engineered lovechild of Jason Statham and Bruce Willis…while floating in zero gravity? She did not.

“Johnny Sins and Eva Lovia will be mentioned in the same conversation as Einstein…”

And Newton, with his Led Zeppelin hair, might have been the man who got hit on the head by an apple but as far as we know he never even made one skin flick. He did some impressive stuff relating to gravitational theory, but he never once stripped seductively out of his spacesuit and orbited the earth like a naked starfish.

Shame on you, Newton. Shame on you.

Here at Mpora, we’re all about adventure but this project just feels like a colossal waste of money. Imagine the good you could do with $3.4 million. You could put it towards conservation projects, and the saving of endangered mustelids, for example.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to turn the pursuit of such noble causes into XXX web content for the masses. But, then again, does everything humanity gets itself involved in need to result in people hunched over their laptops with a box of Kleenex and a deep-well of self-loathing? We would argue that it does not.

To be honest, we’ve got a sneaky suspicion that this ‘sexploration’ malarkey is just one big marketing ploy by Pornhub. Telling people you want to make a porn film in space is a great way to get people talking about you. Let this be a lesson to past winners of The X Factor who have disappeared from public view and need to get some media attention.

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