What Snowboarders Say vs. What They Really Mean

We are all guilty of being economical with the truth sometimes...

0002 say

I’ve worked most my seasons in Mayrhofen, although I did a couple out in Whistler as well.

whitler good 2

0002 mean

I went on a skiing trip to France with the school. It was cold. I was shit.

http---makeagif.com--media-8-29-2014-fOavYe

 

 

0002 say

Me and the boys are saving hard to go to AK next season.

http---makeagif.com--media-8-29-2014-F8mLNr

0002 mean

I watched Bear Grylls In Alaska last night, semi tubose.

bear grylls

 

 

0002 say

My crew are regulars at freestyle night at the dome.

Cass Frends

0002 mean

Me and my mate Oliver went to freestyle night once, but we got scared.

scared-child

 

 

0002 say

I’ve got a backside five on lock, son!

PHOTO: DOMINIC ZIMMERMANN/WHITE LINES
PHOTO: DOMINIC ZIMMERMANN/WHITE LINES

0002 mean

I over-rotated a back three a few weeks ago. My shoulder still hurts.

back 3 crash

 

 

0002 say

Gym? Squats? No way, bro, I’m core.

Why-the-fuck-qm9ai3

0002 mean

I’m really lazy and the bigger boys at the gym scare me.

lift

 

 

0002 say

I was there when Gumby stacked that big air backflip in ’95.

PHOTO: FLORENT DUCASSE / WHITELINES
PHOTO: FLORENT DUCASSE / WHITELINES

0002 mean

I’ve found one of my brother’s old copies of White Lines.

WL-COVERS-01
0002 say

I taught Jamie Nichols how to frontside boardslide.

PHOTO: ONBOARD
PHOTO: ONBOARD

0002 mean

I went to Castleford once and I’m sure Jamie Nichols was there. I think. Somebody was there. Definitely somebody.

cass

 

 

0002 say

My physio’ told me not to charge too hard after the injury.

physio

0002 mean

I keep falling off the lift because I got an owie.

 

 

0002 say

Me and my crew be getting crunk on RV juice tonight!

RV Juice

0002 mean

Two for one on WKD blue in Spar. Winner.

wkd_meme-www.memegen.com

 

 

0002 say

I mostly spend the summers skating. This year I’m thinking of going to Cornwall to learn how to shape boards, too.

interview-jeff-mccallum-shapingbay-thumb-620x370-61083

0002 mean

I’ve applied for a job stacking shelves in ASDA. You’ve got to have a dream.

shelves

 

 

0002 say

Yeah, my sponsors hook me up with gear, which is pretty sweet.

Waynes_World_Dana_Carvey_Reebok

0002 mean

Daddy buys me everything.

rich shits

 

 

0002 say

Fuck those corporate pricks and their, cookie cutter boards. I’m punk rock.

6e2381483b028070024f935d5cf698a4_large

0002 mean

I couldn’t afford a new board for this season, so I got this off eBay.

ebay

 

 

0002 say

I’m so over the whole triple-cork thing. This isn’t snow-nastics.

http---makeagif.com--media-8-29-2014-I7yRjr

0002 mean

Man, I wish I could go upside down, just once. Once!

 

0002 say

I’m doing a bit of filming at a comp in Holland this weekend if I can find a cheap flight.

holland rail
0002 mean

I’m doing a bit of filming at a comp in Holland this weekend if my other-half lets me.

Snowboarding in holland

0002 say

Snowboarding’s lost its soul, maaaan. It’s not what it used to be.

JJ1
0002 mean

I’m 38.

JJ2

 

 

0002 say

Dude, just send it!

JSI

0002 mean

You go first, that looks fucking terrifying.

 

 

0002 say

Snowboarding has given me the best friends I never knew I had.

friends

0002 mean

I am alone.

shutterstock_150176804

 

 

0002 say

I’ve got that Aimee Fuller chirpsing me on Tinder

Fuller Tinder

0002 mean

 So, so alone.

shutterstock_144850960

 

 

0002 say

Fuck the five ringed circus, bro. Snowboarding has no place in the Olympics.

ant limpics

0002 mean

I can’t afford to go to the Olympics, I’m at work when it’s on TV, and I’m sure as shit not good enough to actually be selected for team GB.

forgets

 

 

0002 say

Lift passes are for punters. Don’t waste your money.

lift passes

0002 mean

I spend 12 hours a day with my hands down a chalet toilet. I have no use for a lift pass.

http---makeagif.com--media-9-01-2014-QtTwNF

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