You Know You're A Cyclist When...

If more than 5 of the following are true, you may want to get help... Or alternatively, congratulate yourself!

1) At least one of your bikes is worth more than your car.

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2) You wear a Team Sky jersey for the cycle to work, and refer to the group at traffic lights as “the peloton”.

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3) Guests have to turn sideways to get past the bikes in your hallway.

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4) You spend more time with your bike than you do with your other half.

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5) You are obsessed with carbon, and considering taking chemistry evening classes to better understand the properties of various composites.

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6) If you’re a man you have (on more than one occasion) contemplated shaving your legs.

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7) If you’re a woman you have (on more than one occasion) found yourself admiring the thickness of your thighs in the mirror.

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8) You judge everything based on how aero-dynamic it is. Even the child’s safety seat on your shopper bike.

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9) You feel like a teenager in the first flurry of love, constantly reaching for your phone with bated breath to check… if anyone has beaten your current record on Strava.

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10) Your War on Chafing has lasted longer than the West’s War on Terror.

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11) You have tried every chamois cream, at least one of which has caused a rash that made you question whether or not you had an STD.

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12) Speaking of rashes, you’ve accepted that road rash and visible grazes are a rite of passage. If you’re not crashing, you’re not trying hard enough right?

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13) You check out every bike that cycles past you and can name every single one of their components. And of course, how expensive they are.

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14) You feel more comfortable in lycra than you do in any of your other clothes.

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