On Friday night I went to an Ad Agency in Shoreditch for some TV work. I did 200 manual rolls for the camera and they let me go. Albeit a bit late. I arrived home almost an hour late to find my girlfriend outside on the step. She was not impressed.
Me in a lift in the Tea building...
The morning came and so did a change in mood, the two people I was supposed to be taking with me in the car both arrived on time. In fact one had come with me the night before and we'd had a night of it in Barfly,Camden.
A chick that looked like Bruce...
Newcastle is a fair journey from the capital. Near 300 miles in fact. It took me, Anthony and Dominique 4 hours of acceleration and weaving to reach the city center and after a wee bit of navigation and lot of luck we found the skatepark. Packed full of BMX riders it looked a little daunting for someone like myself who has a easily recognisable bike and and even more recognisable nose. It didn't take long for the token Northern pillhead to rear his ugly head, cheering and screaming at a simple things like a barspin. It was like his brain had been reduced to the understanding of a child. I wish I was so easily impressed, my life would be so much more fulfilling.
Shotly after I met up with my housemates and a few new faces, none who I would ever be able to remember just 12 hours later we went to the local pub; The Hancock.
After a half hour of reminicing (The ten strong group I was with all went to Uni in Newcastle) and watching the worst game in the world (Rugby). We got our food. I was slightly miffed that the Sausage and Mash I had ordered had turned up as Chargrilled Poultry. I tasted good though. I was desperate for something that was missing and I couldn't figure out what it was. An emptiness that I've felt ever since I've moved to London. I'm sure I'd figure it out.
A text from Ben Hennon. Welcome to the jungle...
We arrived at Digital a little out of it, we'd had some of the pubs finest hard stuff just before we left and I was feeling pretty on it. The club was as expected, the bar was 10 people deep and only a few nutters were dancing, the bass from the Valve sound system ripped through my intestines even before I'd walked down the stairs. It was going to be a good night.
Various crews got on the decks and as usual I waited until my flatmates started spinning before tunneling through the revellers. The speakers were in a strange 'V' layout with only 5 feet between them to see the DJ. Around ten kids were stood in front of the speakers with their ears pressed to the mesh. It obviously wasn't loud enough for them. I had ear plugs in. I felt like a tosser so I unplugged them and stuck them in my back pocket. It would be fun playing with them later on.
I got bored in the pit when a posh girl poured water over me. She was pretty happy and I was pretty livid. I couldn't get angry with her though because a filmer captured the whole thing and you never know these days where this stuff ends up. I quietly left and went in search of some other friends.
I walked around for about 30 minutes doing circles. I saw Dom briefly at the bar and she bought me a beer. Bottles poured into pint glasses, what a con. In my condition though I wasn't doing to much thinking, just holding a pint glass made me think I was drinking a pint.
I sneaked in behind the desk in room two for a chill out to the Dubstep. I still don't know what that means. It sound wicked though. I meandered back into the main room and CPF were finishing up their set so I used my backstage pass and went and sat on a tab;le behind the decks. I had the best view and the music wasn't deafening.
"I'm the scatman, be bop de bod op bop..."
Shortly after the night came to a close and I was outside the artists entrance watching people give drunken interviews. I found some friends in a back room so I sat with them for a while stealing somebody else's booze and smoked a bit of a bad boy. We all met up and left the club, walked over to an aptly names eatery that I forget the name of. Some bought Kebabs with gravy, chips and other stuff on them but I'd lost my apetitie. Cabs were hailed and before I knew it we were in a different part of Newcastle with about 20 other people.
The host prepared me a Vodka lemonade that actually had a meon in it. It struck me as a little odd being in the surroundings we were. Let me explain. The front room had over 1000 DVD's in it perfectly stacked and half of it in order of director. On the other side of the room was an 8ft high plant bent down by the cieling, it took up a diameter of about 6 feet. There was also a TV with Virgin on it which means it has a whole host of old TV channels to watch, there was 2 huge bean bags, a single armchair, a couch, another single armchair and two reclining seats from Concorde. These were purchased for just £150. There was a kitchen joined to the room with a toaster and a 4 seater table, 2 fridges and no larger.
I didn't know it at the time but I'd spend the next 7 hours in this room. Thats longer than it takes to get to New York.
I managed to get one of Concordes seats right next to the computer, so I was DJ. Although I was quickly moved on by the houses' majority. It didn't matter.
I don't remember one piece of conversation over the next period but I was awake, if not slightly hammered.
The next thing I know I'm evicted in the back of a taxi heading for another part of Newcastle. I get sickness in my stomach at the thought of how I felt when I got out of the cab. Steaming sunlight burnt my back, people were running, football matches were going on in the distance, it was a truly beautiful day. It's a shame that I wouldn't get to see any of it. I crawled up to the top floor bedroom and lay on a stained matress, no pillow or cover but I woke up with them over me. I woke up about 200 times. The last time I fumbled downstairs and walked into our new hosts room. I didn't recognise him but he was on top of some girl who looked happy at the situation. I wasn't heard and as I crept off I had a flash through my head of this guy being livid I interrupted his session and he would come and hurt me. I don't know why I was so scared.
I awoke my friend and we turned the TV on. Ice Age 2 was on the TV which meant it was at least 5pm. (I'd noticed it in the TV guide the day before.) We got into mateys car and he took off at over 100mph. I tapped my friend on the shoulder and gritted my teeth to indicated that I thought we were going to die.
People think it's wierd to shoot photos of men pissing. I don't know why.
We got back to where I'd left my car. I sat in the drivers seat and looked through the dark steamed up front window. I turned on the heating full blast to clear it and reflected upon how ill I felt. I thought I would make a promise to myself never to get so ill again. Me and Ant drove into Newcastle to pick up Dom. We'd had about 40 missed calls between us. We set off home and all my mind could think about was how to get out of driving my car. It wasn't right. We were lost. I didn't have the patience to stop and look at a map so I kept driving.
God saw pity and we found ourselves on the M1. Then I was home. My stomach still feeling like the French did after they lost the shittest game ever.
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