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What Does Your Facial Hair Say About You?

The ultimate guide to action sports beards and 'taches

It’s Movember where men across the country grow ill-advised moustaches in the name of *ahem* charity. Which furry caterpillar looks most like yours?

1. You are backcountry riding, hunter-gatherer type. A total legend among men. You deserve everyone’s respect.

Photo: Lib Tech

 

2. You’re a bit sensitive, a bit mysterious and only wear tight 90s lycra ski wear. No one really knows what’s under your bandana

 

3. You can’t grow a beard, but you’re going to try anyway.

Photo: Reddit

 

4. You can’t grow one either.

 

5. You’re an adventurer of the old school kind. You’ll only be found racing in L’Eroica Storica and riding down mountains in tweed pantaloons.

 

6. You are French. You like cheese, garlic and icy mogul runs.

 

7. You are old. Really, really old. But you still rip on a surfboard.

Photo: build-a-beard

 

8. You’re a city slicker that’s been let loose on the ski slopes after twenty thousand years stuck in an office. All follicle-related hell has unfolded.

9. You skate and therefore you need a beer holder. Beard, meet beer.

Photo: tagroom.com

 

10. You’re a road cyclist who likes to twizzle

Photo: Road.cc

 

11. You want people to think you’re a beer-swigging, Harley riding badass. Actually you cry at John Lewis Christmas adverts.

Photo: Phillips

 

12. You worship Jah, smoke ganja, hang ten and haven’t washed your beard since 1987

 

13. You can’t make up your mind whether you’re a fully-bearded maverick or clean shaven shredder with a rat’s tail dread. So, you went for both.

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