13 Highly Questionable Costume Ideas For Mountain Bikers This Halloween
Okay, so most of these might be a bit farfetched...
It’s Halloween. You’re a mountain biker. Either you’re a super fan of the holiday and love dressing up or you’d rather be on the trails but are being forced into going to a jammed out ‘ween party filled with ridiculous outfits.
You need a costume, stat. All you can think about is mountain biking though, so what are you meant to do? Well, let’s join the dots.
Put vampires, pirates and bad puns back on the shelf and get your downhill gear at the ready. Here are some Halloween costume ideas for the everyday mountain biker, admittedly ranging from unlikely and uncomfortable to downright impractical.
1) Mountain Bike Stormtrooper
The classic mountain bike stormtrooper. There’s a good chance you’ve already got the outfit hanging up in your closet, what with all that body armour you’ve bought. All you need to do is get yourself a mask and you could end up looking just like the chap above. Who by the way, happens to be Steve Peat.
2) A Mere Mortal After Riding at FEST Series
If you’ve not seen the jumps that the pros lined up at FEST series, then you’ve been missing out. Picture gargantuan dirt set ups 60ft high, giant gaps, steep as hell lines and terrifying trails. Unless you’re a pro and you’re reading this, or you’re a very, very talented mountain biker, this costume pretty much consists of going as a zombie version of yourself.
3) The Price Tag of Your Dream Bike
4) Aaron Gwin’s Broken Chain
Aaron Gwin’s day at the 2015 Leogang downhill World Cup earlier this year was seemingly over before it had begun after his chain snapped coming out of the gates. Somehow though, the American managed to win regardless. If that’s not terrifying, we don’t know what is, so why not go as Gwinny’s mystical chain, which cued all the madness to start with?
5) That Creepy Little F*cker From Saw
While we’ve never seen the lad above rocking his tricycle on the trails – something we thank the lord for every day – he is known for his love of bicycling, as well as torture of course, and generally being freakin’ terrifying. Mountain bike it up by keeping the makeup but ditching the suit for your usual Saturday trail-wear.
6) Danny Hart, Circa 2011 World Championships
“How can Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?" We still don’t know the answer, nor how Danny managed to so stylishly stay on track and cruise to the World Championship title at Champery in 2011. This costume involves Team GB gear, a lot of mud, and strapping giant inflatable balls to the middle of your belt buckle.
7) Lance Armstrong
What does he have to do with mountain biking? Absolutely nothing. And that’s the great bit. This is the classic pantomime villain costume from the world of cycling, and will undoubtedly get on any road cyclist’s nerves that you happen to come across.
8) Zombie Ratboy
Surely the most identifiable man on the downhill World Cup circuit at this point, why not go as everyone’s favourite rider, Josh “Ratboy" Bryceland? Half the fans at downhill races turn up dressed like him anyway, so zombie it up a little and you’re good to go.
9) A Box of French Fries on a Bike
Yeah we have no idea what this is about either. We just saw this picture and had to include it. Enjoy.
10) Generic Zombie Cyclist
Well this is terrifying. Tell us that this isn’t terrifying? This is one for the Halloween purists who hate the puns and demand the frightening. It's taken from our list of 10 action sports Halloween outfits to rock this year, so have a click through for more legitimate costume ideas!
11) A Punctured Tyre
All you need is an absolute f*cktonne of rubber and the will to go as something that will leave you incredibly uncomfortable for an entire night. Keen? Okay maybe not then.
12) The Val di Sole Downhill Course
The Val di Sole downhill course has thrown up more gnarly crashes and rough encounters than you can count on two sounds. Sam Hill 2008 anyone? For this one, we guess you’ll need a large green outfit fitted out with a trail and a mini-Sam Hill. If you can fit a speaker box blaring the commentary of Rob Warner, we have no doubt all eyes will be on you.
13) Mountain Bikers, circa 1992
Lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra. Body armour. lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra lycra. Pain.