Hello class, and good morning/afternoon/night (delete as appropriate). Today, we’re going to be learning about the wild moose.
Native to Canada, Alaska and Scandinavia, the moose (North America), or elk (Eurasia) is the largest extant species in the deer family, and are easily distinguished by the palmate antlers of the males or embarrassingly bare heads of the females, which look slightly like malnourished cows.
Most moose eat diets consisting of terrestrial and aquatic vegetation, and because of this lack of excitement come mealtime, the animals have been known to be rather grouchy to the point of anger. After all, wouldn’t you be a little bit raging for most of the day if you were only eating salad?
Anyway, due to this fact, and the small notation that humans rank amongst the most common predators to the wild moose, the beasts have developed a severe hatred for all of mankind – and particularly mountain bikers.
Thankfully moose are solitary animals, loners of the night, ridin’ solo in much the same vein as Jason Derulo, so bikers don’t have to worry about being ambushed by a rogue gang of the animals, high on grass and out for human flesh.
This doesn’t mean they won’t attack at all though. Take the video above for example. These unfortunate riders were taking a journey through Kincaid Park, Achorage, AK, when a rogue moose decided it wasn’t quite being shown the respect it deserved.
Just to add a little further to your aforementioned nature lesson, an average adult moose can stand up to 6ft 9", roughly the same size as that mutated monster that’s been plaguing your nightmares for the past 15 years, and they can weigh up to 700kg. If you get hit by one of these bad boys then, you’re in for a world of pain.
Luckily, the moose was just handing out a warning on this occasion – sending out a message that said in no uncertain terms, ‘you check up on ma’ turf without bowing and you gonna get sent straight packin’ back to yo’ hometown’.
Be careful when you’re riding through moose-infested forest kids. Age, gender, size or even tragic backstories simply just don’t matter to these heartless beasts.