Photo: iStock

Anyone who is the proud (or not so proud) owner of a penis will know the feeling of dread and anxiety when it stands to attention at precisely the wrong moment.

It's uncontrollable, unexpected and may lead to strange looks, ridicule and in extreme cases, arrest.

Mountain biking is a hot, sweaty, dirty and dangerous sport, much like sex, so it is perhaps no wonder that the unwanted erection can sometime arise when you're on a mountain bike trip.

Just pray to god it never happens in one of these awkward situations...


1) Asking the barista of your favourite coffee shop if she "likes to ride"

Photo: iStock


2) Checking out some new, skin-tight lycra shorts in the mirror of the local bike shop

Photo: iStock


3) Explaining to a police officer why you are cycling home in the nude at 4am

Photo: iStock


4) Telling the mountain rescue exactly how you crashed on "the boner log"

Photo: iStock


5) Looking at your friend's compound femur fracture as she's laid-up in hospital

Photo: iStock


6) While being interviewed for local TV on why mountain biking is such a family friendly and accessible sport


Photo: iStock

got an idea

7)  Explaining to the surly mechanic that the suspension on your rental bike is "a bit too stiff"

Photo: iStock


8) Giving your bike a thorough rub down after a long dirty day on the trails

Photo: iStock

9) Walking through town after ripping your shorts after a particularly savage bail

Photo: iStock


10) In line for the bus to the airport, gear all packed up, one solitary tear making slow progress down your cheek

Photo: iStock


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