The Flotrack Beer Mile World Championships are set to take place in Texas next month, but after failing to qualify, Lance Armstrong will not be competing at the wonderfully titled event.
Let's take a step back though and explain what the hell these championships actually involve. The Beer Mile sees competitors run four laps on a quarter mile track, chugging a can of Budweiser at the start line and every time they finish a lap after that.
Lance Armstrong chose to get involved in the event after getting an e-mail from the organiser, but despite (kind of) winning seven Tour de France titles and being notoriously competitive, the former cycling champion gave up after just one lap.
Speaking after the race, an organiser asked him, "You've never done that before?", to which Armstrong responded: "No, and I never will again. One and done. That was not what I expected at all."
Clearly Lance was too busy on his bike to learn how to handle a beer properly in his younger days, so it doesn't look like this'll be the way that he gets back into the world of competitive sport!