When Sir Bradley Wiggins says that he’s going to attempt to do something, you know he’s almost definitely going to pull it off, and such was the case when the cyclist smashed the world record for the most distance rode in one hour over the weekend.
The Briton managed to cover an impressive 52.937km/38.88 miles, beating Alex Dowsett’s former 32.89m record by exactly 0.99 of a mile. Seeing as Alex only set that record back in May, he must be at least a litte bit pissed that it’s gone already – though we’re guessing seeing Dowsett set it got SBW even more confident about giving it a shot.
For his part, Wiggo is just glad it’s over, joking after the 218-lap success at Lee Valley VeloPark in London: “It was torturous. That’s the closest I have ever come to what it’s like to have a baby."
Sir Bradley actually fell short of the 55.250km/221 lap target he had set for himself – so you could say that he’s a failure to himself and everyone around him – but he’s still become only the sixth man to claim a Tour de France title and break the hour record, and it’s safe to say his record will probably stand longer than his predecessor’s.
It’s some achievement to claim a world best by that big a margin, and as you would expect, the internet responded in fitting style.
When asked if he had ever fancied the record, Sir Chris Hoy admitted he was sure he could've nailed it, but only had he taken on the hour challenge one minute at a time over the course of a week.
I did, but it was just 59mins too long :-) https://t.co/IN5Vo6DjQu
— Chris Hoy (@chrishoy) June 7, 2015
The ‘Have I Got News For You’ lot made sure that all the mother’s out there gave Sir Bradley a stern shake of the head...
Cyclist Bradley Wiggins likens breaking world mile record to “childbirth", vowing to invest in a more comfortable saddle.
— HaveIGotNewsForYou (@haveigotnews) June 8, 2015
...and The Telegraph went all out on the Wiggo quotes as well. Any excuse to scribble 1000 words on childbirth, right?
What pregnant women can learn from Bradley Wiggins: Yesterday Sir Bradley Wiggins compared breaking a cycling ... http://t.co/RnzdbEY6FC
— Parenting_Mom (@parenting_mom) June 8, 2015
Instagram user @jnsbseoul brought a rather more classy touch back to the record with an animation that had nothing to do with squeezing out babies:
Sky Sports Cycling, meanwhile, plan to offer Bradley a freelance job fetching their groceries every weekend:
— Sky Sports Cycling (@SkyCycling) June 7, 2015
Joe thinks he already knows who the next lad breaking the record will be.
The only person I've ever seen ride faster than Bradley Wiggins is the scrote from our estate who stole my BMX bike in 2003.
— Joe (@jawtonloe) June 7, 2015
Christina won’t stop going on about this. Admittedly, probably a better time than most to bring it up.
Did I ever tell you about the time I beat Sir Bradley Wiggins going up Gathurst Hill? I know I was in my car, but I still beat him.
— Christina Wallis (@xtinewallis) June 7, 2015
But David’s having none of the Wiggo-fever. He’s clearly not a fan of that famous style.
It's worth remembering that despite Bradley Wiggins' medal haul and world records, he's still a grown man that claims to be a mod.
— David (@lfcmaestro23) June 7, 2015
Paul’s not even a cycling fan by the looks of things, but he was still bigging Bradley up.
— Paul Varcoe (@Varcs) June 7, 2015
Busby reckons he’s been more productive than the TfD Champ, although we’re not sure we agree.
Bradley Wiggins rode 54.5km in an hour yesterday. Pffff. In that same hour, I managed to eat an ice cream AND have a nap. Yea. Pretty proud.
— Busby (@busby530) June 8, 2015
Binstedman meanwhile outlines exactly what Wiggo must’ve been feeling as soon as he crossed that line. It was tough watching too, y’know...
— Binstedman (@binstedman) June 7, 2015
There were quite a few calls for him to walk away quietly though. Apparently there's a strong internet contingent that believes the record shouldn't count if not completed on a children's Raleigh Chopper.
Well done to Bradley Wiggins, quite an achievement, slightly disappointed you didn't do it on a Chopper but still a decent effort #myhour
— Tom Howarth (@Sirbobbyliveson) June 7, 2015
Very impressed by Bradley Wiggins world record, would be even better if he did it on a Raleigh Chopper 🚲😉 #MyHour
— Andy Hill (@hillblade1889) June 7, 2015
— Mr Angry (@Mr_Angry1415) June 7, 2015
Nevermind though, Alan’s got faith in him to step up to the plate and give it a go...
Bradley Wiggins could beat the record on a Raleigh Chopper!! Superb!! #MyHour
— Alan (@Lanzarote082015) June 7, 2015
All in all though, it was mostly well wishing for Wiggo – Britain’s golden man with a Tour de France title and world record. The question on everyone’s lips now? Neal Rogers knows it...
Woke up today wondering what Wiggo’s hangover was like this morning #HourRecord
— Neal Rogers (@nealrogers) June 8, 2015