Thought Another Pair of Socks Was Bad? Imagine Getting One of These Skateboard-Themed Gifts For Christmas…
Count yourself lucky your present wasn't one of these truly terrible ideas...
Everyone's been there.
You're trying to think of the perfect present for someone and your stuck without any clue what to get them.
Now for a skater this could be as easy as a new deck or bearings (or one of these excellent ideas) but some people like to take it to the next err... level.
Honestly, however crap your presents are, count yourself lucky you didn't get any of these. You would not believe the array of weird skateboard-themed merchandise out there, ranging from the kind-of odd to the truly, insanely random.
Cheapcookiecutters.com claims that you don't have to know an ollie from a grind in order to use the cutter, but apparently it helps.
Getting It In The Neck
As everyone knows, apart from being accomplished bakers, the majority of skaters also work in offices or as bankers and need some way to let their colleagues know that they are in fact a shredder.
The best way to do this is with this... a "wonderful" necktie that features as many skaters per square inch as you can manage. There are in fact a wide range of these bad boys at zazzle.com ensuring that even a working day can be totally rad.
Or that you'll look like a prat.
Hate The Player...
There are games available to stop 'boarders getting bored when it's a little too chilly to skate outside. You'd be crazy not to pick up a copy of Skateboard Madness, where you can ride with the "Madness Crew" - a group of endearing animal heroes (who are in no way naff or annoying whatsoever) as they try to make it all the way to the X Games. Wicked.
Alternatively, Stoked! Skateboarding must die! is a collectable card game where you can stick it to the man in a future that hates skateboarding.
There's artwork from Birdhouse Skateboards and even cartoon versions of Birdhouse riders Willy Santos and Brian Sumner to enjoy while you practice and perform tricks to become the "most stoked rider of all time".
Like an unholy union of Pokemon and Yugioh, Stoked! is apparently aimed at scratching your skaters itch when it's raining. What it will probably do is end up making them more annoyed.
Ah well, at least it gives you something to collect other than new scars.
After all those delicious skateboard shaped cookies you're going to need to keep your gnashers clean, so why not do it in err... style with a skateboard themed toothbrush?
With exciting spinning toothbrush action and dodgy wheels this gift will let you proudly show off whichever teeth you haven't knocked out while skating.
OK so this is a weird one. If you're worried about hurting yourself by doing any actual skateboarding then the inflatable halfpipe could help.
Featuring a fixed board that pivots on the spot, you will be safely contained within a bouncy castle world where speed and doing tricks can all be enjoyed from the comfort of your own imagination.
Like a video game that gets them outside, this present will save you from any unfortunate mishaps, letting you enjoy the idea of skating without learning any actual tricks or anything that might b useful in the real world.
The discerning skater will know that generic dolls just don't cut it when you're into one of the most awesome sports ever. What you need is a bespoke doll that truly represents the sport... and that's where the Ryan Skater Doll comes in.
At an imposing 12 inches tall, Ryan can go toe to toe with the likes of Ken or any other mainstream model and even has a surfer cousin, Toby, for those all important playdates at the beach.
He comes complete with all the things that all real skaters have - like crazy psychedelic tattoos (!) and crazy dreadlocks (honestly, have these marketing men ever seen a real skateboarder?)
These, combined with the most disconcertingly painted butt crack yet seen on a doll make Ryan the man when it comes to playing like a girl.