11 Time When Humans Tried To Ride Ski Lifts... But Failed Miserably
Wedgies, face-plants, and broken skulls: these chair lift disasters will make your day - now with added stupidity...
Along with SnowBlades and the often extortionate prices in resorts, ski lifts are pretty much top of a lot of people's list of pet hates. You'd have thought that, by now, some boffin or other would have invented a new way of getting up the hill.
Alas not. For now at least we're stuck in a cant live with 'em, can't live without 'em kind of relationship with lifts.
However, these precarious beasts are not without their uses. Aside from the obvious dragging us up to the white stuff, they also furnish us with stacks of brilliant fail videos ever single season. Here are eleven of our all-time favourites.
What the flip...?
It's hard to tell what exactly what's gone wrong here. What's for certain, though, is that something definitely does.
About four five seconds in, our shirtless hero gets catapulted into the air, does a cartwheel, and gets ceremoniously dumped back to the ground, with the T-bar swinging away in the background.
Six years later...
"You're not going to eat your own food until you can do this" threatens this poor snowboarder's friend as he attempts to catch a button lift.
This video was filmed in 2009, but we hear the guy is still there trying to get up the hill. Bless him.
Knee pads compulsory
Is this a new way of getting up a lift, or somebody who's only succeeding to get frostbite in their knees?
Frostbite. It's the frostbite one, isn't it.
"Whadaya doing? You've got to go up there!" insists this guys friend, with the kind of sympathy Ronald McDonald reserves for fat kids.
One minute in, when the liftie starts praying, you know you're in for a treat.
If it's any conciliation, Dave, we think you're a hero. Shitty at lifts, but a hero.
If at first you don't succeed...
Remember what your mom told you when you were learning to do things when you were young? "If at first you don't succeed, try again badly, fuck up, before eventually getting it just about right."
Your mother always did have a potty mouth.
The ball-busting weggie
It's not just snowboarders that struggle with the lifts, as this naive skier proves. Faced with a tow rope, he decided his best option is to pop one leg over, and go on the ball-chafing ride of his life.
Unconfirmed reports suggest that it took him eight weeks to retrieve his y-fronts from his bum crack.
The lift that keeps on giving
Initially, you'd be forgiven for thinking the guy that set up his camera to see people fall getting of this chair lift is a bit of a sadist. It soon turns out, he's actually a comedy genius.
Five seconds in we see somebody get clouded in the head by the chair. 20 seconds later there's a fall. A further 20 seconds and a skier both crashed and gets hit on the head.
But it's two minutes in when the video really peaks. A terrified skier reaches the top, loses her bottle, and decides to stay seated until the liftie comes to her rescue.
Bump and grind
Back to snowboarders and drag lifts again. This chap looks like it's all just plain sailing until the most innocuous of bumps on the run proves disastrous for him.
Within a second, our pal is on the floor, being dragged up the run unceremoniously. Although R Kelly may disagree, it turn's out there's quite a lot wrong with a little bump and grind.
There's no helping some people
"Let go. Let go! LET GO!" cries the friend of this struggling snowboarder at he tries to master a T-bar. In fairness, he appeared to struggle with the turn-style, let alone manage to balance on the bar up to the top.
When, following a few hapless attempts later, a rogue T-bar hooks on to our hapless hero's bag and almost drags him up the slope until an increasingly irritated liftie comes to the rescue (his buddy remains on camera, you notice).
Forced onto the nearby button lift, things don't seem to improve. Shit, he even breaks the lifties fake teaching lift. Was this chap born on a native American burial ground?
Let's stop hanging out, let's stop having fun
Back to the safety of the chair lift. Or at least, what should be the safety of the chair lift.
Just a few meters out of the station, this skier has managed to lose both skis, become dislodged from the chair, and stuck dangling from the safety bar.
"Drop! Drop! Drop!" cry concerned onlookers.The skier does. First there are cheers. But then it goes quiet...
Is this one of the more experimental bits of footage that didn't quite make it to the latest Candide Thorvex edit? We've all see Scott Stevens sliding around butter boxes on his knees, maybe this dude's trying to push the boundaries in the same way.
Or, you know, maybe he had a tumble on the lift and was so bad for so long, that the person behind him on the lift had enough time to unzip his jacket, get his phone out, unlock it, select camera, and capture the humiliation for all of the internet to see.