Ever heard of William Koch? He’s a sailor who won the America’s Cup in 1992, a business man worth a full $4 billion, and he’s just put a mountain lodge on the market in Aspen worth $100 million dollars.
Now, we’re guessing that you don’t quite have the money to buy this place. Odds on, you’re a skier or a snowboarder, which means you probably can't afford a can of Red Stripe in Aspen never mind a badass mansion.
Anyway, there’s no harm in a bit of window shopping, and if you do happen to have won the lottery three or four times in the past few months, a) please give us a ring and let us throw a party with your cash, and b) this could just be your new family getaway.
The 82.6 acre property is just 10 miles from the centre of Aspen, the grounds include two small lakes and a stunning view, and in the winter you would pretty much be living in a snow-lover’s heaven.
The inside, meanwhile, is right up there with golden skateboards and Katie Hopkins on the ‘how-the-hell-did-this-become-a-thing’ scale.
It has 28 bedrooms, 30 bathrooms, an indoor basketball court and a shower that looks more complicated than setting your toaster to the right level of toastiness.
Don’t get too disheartened if you can’t afford the place though. If Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that taking a holiday in a place like this is almost definitely going to secure your brutal murder by some kind of mutant mountain goat.
Seriously, have a look through the place again. There are more guns on the wall in one room than there are in the whole of Britain, there’s enough empty space to host a host of terrifying chase scenes, and there’s enough spiky animal antlers and chandeliers to top the entire cast of the Final Destination franchise.
Put some sinister music behind a montage of this place and you’ve got yourself an 18-rated film only 15-year-olds are going to watch... Although maybe we’re just being bitter. If anyone does want to lend us $100 million they’ll never get back, we still won’t turn it down.