1) You try skiing first...

Photo: The Times

 

2) ...Then think learning to snowboard will be piss easy

snowboard fail

 

3) You buy a super stiff freeride board... because you like the graphic

Photo: Lipstick Productions

 

4) Getting off chairlifts proves more humiliating than having your pants pulled down at school...

 

5) ...And button lifts are your worst nightmare

 

6) You spend 600 quid on avalanche equipment - despite doing your first week on a nursery slope in Andorra

921

 

7) You're still putting all your weight on your back foot when you turn

giphy

 

 8) Two words: Punter gap

punter gap

9) You follow your mate off-piste into deep powder, lose speed and...

stuck

 

10) You think jeans are acceptable riding attire...

snowboard_jeans_no._1_thumb

 

 11) Without realising you have to earn the right to rock them (not to mention stay upright)

NickVisconti

 

12) You linger on landings in the park

 

13) You think you're unique for wearing an animal onesie

snowboard_friends

 

14) You can't keep up speed on the flats, so you end up pushing the whole way

learner1_small1

 

15) Your arse looks something like this...

MTB-singlespeedpirate

 

16) ...And your dignity like this

conceptual-dignity-lost-poster-statement-typography-favim-com-38190

 

17) But at least you'll always be more stylish than the skiers!

dorma

 

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