Because the internet is full of bored, mouth-breathing arse-brains (not you, dear reader. No. Those people *points at other people*, they are the bored, mouth-breathing arse-brains), back in 2013, there was an entirely false rumour doing the rounds that Nicolas Cage had died in a snowboarding accident.

He may have flopped many, many times - have you seen the remake of The Wickerman? It's truly dreadful. Abject, even. Made worse, of course, by the fact that the 1973 original is so bum-clenchingly glorious, but let us digress no further.

He may have flopped many, many times, but he's is alive, well, and enjoying life to the full. So, to redress the balance, we examine the times when Nicolas Cage perfectly summed up snowboarding

1) Your very first line of the season

Nic Cage Snowboard hair

2) When you ride away from an icy landing

Nic Cage Snowboard just stomped landing

3) When you land something you've been trying for ages

Nic Cage Snowboard landed something you've been trying for ages

4) When Shaun White gets a perfect score in the 2012 Winter X Games

Nic Cage Snowboard quadcork

5) When the shop monkey shows you how stiff your new powder board is

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting board length

6) When your buddy lands something that you know you can do switch

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting buddy lands something you can do switch

7) Getting jazzed on the transfer to the resort

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting driving

8) When Cody Townsend and his filmer beat you to riding a couloir in Alaska

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting found out a skiers just beat you to releasing The Crack

9) When your mate Perry claims he also rode that couloir in Alaska

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting friend lies about a trick

10) When the liftie tells you that you've missed the last gondola down

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting friend tries to drop before you on a powder day

11) When you come home and you find out Cher has moved your snowboard next to a radiator

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting get home to find Cher has put your snowboard next to the radiator

12) When your mate suggests doing  a season in Klosters next winter

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting friend suggests you save for Alaska

13) When you have to work after a fresh dump

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting having to work on a pow day

14) When you realise it's Billy Morgan on the lift next to you

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting on the lift next to

15) Getting your mind right for the first kicker of a trip

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting lets ride

16) Actually riding up to the kicker

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting riding up to kicker

17) The first time you saw Halldor's roof gap from Never Not

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting the first time you saw Halldors roof gap in NeverNot 2

18) When you buddy comes up with a spurious excuse for not dropping in

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting whe your buddy claims to have a good reason for not dropping in

19) When somebody starts asking awkward questions about the month you claim you did in Niseko when you were 12

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting when somebody starts asking uncomfortable questions about the season you apparently did in Verbier

20) When the lifts close for the final time in a season...

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting lifts close for the season

21) ... and all of a sudden it starts dumping in May...

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting dumps in may

22)... But then you remember you have a splitboard...

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting remember you have a splitboard

23) ...Giving you access to the freshest lines all season, that nobody else knows about

Nic Cage Snowboard Sitting and access to the freshest lines all season

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