1) You wear a beanie all year around, even in the summer

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2) You picture this when somebody mentions a fish

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3) You challenge friends to “Name the video part" when Paranoid Android comes on the radio

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4) You think nothing of having a goggle tan

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5) You skive off work watching webcams to see if it’s snowing anywhere, instead of playing CandyCrush

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6) You’ve tried to explain to every boss you’ve ever had that you can’t possibly work on a powder day

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7) Even though the powder days in Wakefield are few and far between

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8) You own a £60 iron that’s never been near any laundry

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9) Your bedroom carpet is covered in hard blobs of wax

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10) You know where the Bec Des Rosses, Little Jarvis Glacier, and Wildseeloder are, and how many metres high each one is

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11) You’re bad at maths, but can instantly work out any multiple of 180

Teacher.

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12) You don’t think Jackson’s Hole is something children in the 1980’s were terrified of

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13) Your main issue with hoverboards is that they don’t go sideways

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14) You’ve spent more on snowboards than you have on your education

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15) You care more above the helmet debate than you do the abortion debate

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16) The staff in your nearest board shop know your name (because you’ve been going in since you were seven)

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17) You own enough pairs of gloves and beanies to equip a small army for a week on the slopes

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18) The names Terje, Nico, Xavier, Halldor, Silje, and Stale all mean something to you

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19) Especially Silje

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20) At night, you dream of Alaska

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21) You have at least one pair of camo print snowboarding pants

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22) You have new gear sent in to your workplace so your other half doesn’t know how much you’re spending

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23) You’ve scoped all of your local hills, gaps, and rails, on the off chance that it ever snows enough in the UK

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24) The first thing you consider when buying a car is whether it’ll fit a board in the back

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