1) If anybody ever tells you that they like surfing, don't listen to them

Photo: Braun. S

2) Don't believe their lies

Photo: Ian McDonnell

3) Surfing's rubbish

Photo: Yin Yan

4) You have to battle past the crowds on the beach

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

surf houses morocco ed howell jones

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5)  Into icy cold water

Photo: Matt Carr

surf senegal sunset matt carr

6) Which is full of filth and pollution

Filth - Photo: Rich Inpit

7) And the more-than-occasional dog turd

Photo: Lou Boyd

surf portugal 01

8) In the wind and rain

Photo: James Renhard

9) Just to sit around waiting for a wave

Photo: Alf Alderson

10) A wave that never comes

Photo: Nina Zietman

surf morocco nina zeitman

11) And when it does it's tiny

surf portugal wave

surf portugal wave

12) Or way too big

Photo: Luke Gartside

13) If you do happen to find a few rideable sets, you'll have to fight for them

Photo: Calum Jelley

surf road trip wave calum jelley

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14) And everybody will hate you

Photo: Paul Nicklen

15) Because there are no friends in surfing

Photo: Surf City USA

surf surf cuty usa

16) Locals hate anybody from a different postcode

Photo: Matt Carr

surf senegal matt carr

17) The women are ugly

Photo: A Zarubaika

18) And the men are worse

Photo: People Images

19) Everybody's much fitter than you

Jimbo Pellegrine is larger than life - Ashley Bickerton

Jimbo Pellegrine Photo Ashley Bickerton

20) The views are rubbish

Photo: BestSurfschools

surf bestsurfschools

21) And completely devoid of culture

Ouakam, Senegal - Photo: Matt Carr

surf senegal ouakam matt carr

22) Once you've seen one wave, you've seen them all

Shipstern Bluff,  Tasmania - Photo: adrenalineart.com

23)There's only about 4 places to surf in the world

North East of England - Photo: Greg Martin

24) There are no role models in surfing

Mick Fanning along side teenage cancer patient Ben Beasley - Photo: Jared Williams

mick fanning ben beasley photo Jerad Williams

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25) And you can never make a career out of surfing

Kelly Slater, doin' alright - Photo: Jason Alexander

26) It's just for lazy bums

Gabrielle Reece and Laird Hamilton - Photo: espn

27) There's no adventures to be had surfing

Photo: Calum Jelley

surf road trip van calum jelley

28) No social scene

Photo:  Bura Surfhouse

surf portugal Bura Surfhouse

29) No parties

Photo: YouTube

30) No festivals

Boardmasters - Photo: Fistralbeach Hotel

31) And competitions are always so far away from the public

Photo: James Renhard

surf unleashed james renhard

32) You can only surf for a few months during the summer

Photo: Bob Tema

33) You're virtually forced to dress like an aquatic gimp

Photo: Outerknown

34) If you don't live near the ocean, don't even bother

Photo: Stuart Kenny

35) There are absolutely no tricks in surfing

Zoltan The Magician kickflipping his board - Photo: YouTube

36) In short, surfing is rubbish

Photo: Epic Stock Media

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37) It's no fun at all

Photo: Stuart Kenny

38) It's just silly, really

Photo: Sean Yoro

surf sean yoro

39) And you'll never be accepted

Photo: Lou Boyd

surf portugal spectators

40) Not that you'd want to

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

surf morroco stand ed howell jones

41) It's dull

Post-surf beer, anybody? - Photo: Callum Jelley

surf road trip beer calum jelley

42) So if anybody tells you they like surfing

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

surf morocco Ed Howell Jones

43) They're a liar

Photo: Luke Gartside

44) It's just a group of people saying "dude" and "gnarly"

Young, dumb, and full of cum... - 20th Century Fox

45) Actually, that last one's kinda true

Photo: Catherine Votovich

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