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Like cancer, the common cold and close talking, there is no cure for hangovers. Well, apart from not drinking, which is not so much of a cure as some type of humourless joke that only the very dull would inflict on themselves.

Of course, since man first drank from a fermented apple and then tried to have sex with the tree, hangover cures have been proposed.

Essence of ginger infused with echinacea berries or raw eggs sucked through an bat’s intestine, for example, don’t help and usually hurt.

"IT'S LIKELY YOU'LL HAVE THE CO-ORDINATION OF A ONE-LEGGED EPILEPTIC ON KETAMINE..."

Surfing is a good a bet. Although you usually have the co-ordination of a one-legged epileptic on ketamine, it’s very rare that you feel worse than when you went in.

Of course, the only foolproof way of returning to normal is to start drinking again. Sometimes this can have adverse effects on your liver, relationships, responsibilities and financial well-being, but in terms of getting back on track it’s hard to beat.

Sure, it's a mere postponing device, but if eventually if you keep postponing the inevitable, you can reach the heady heights of full-blown alcoholism, a dreamy place where hangovers don’t exist.

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