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No, not THAT kind of shit pipe... Photo: sportsmasher.com

While looking at a map one day, bored in the car, I came across some bizarre beach names.

After all, there are some hilarious ski resorts, such as the infamous Wank in Germany. Mountain bike trails can be pretty inventively titled too. My favourite so far is Angry Midget in western Canada.

Here are the results from my quest to find the wackiest surf spot names out there...

Hell’s Mouth, Abersoch, Wales

Photo: John Wormald/Magic Seaweed

Hells Mouth Wales John Wormald Magic Seaweed

Back in the day, when this part of Wales was a busy shipping lane and full of fishermen, sailors would liken this wave to the Gates of Hell.

Clearly, they had never been to Fiji or even Portugal.

Eight foot waves are considered a big swell here, so it might not literally be Hell's Mouth, but it's still a cool name.

Chicken, Vancouver Island, Canada

Photo: handsomedans.ca

Jordan River is known for its locals that don’t like sharing their misty Pacific beach.

Chicken is the beginner break – for the kooks. Local surfers wouldn’t be seen dead surfing that spot, unless they are teaching their kids how to surf.

Originally a logging camp, the waves in Jordan River are inconsistent but when the swell picks up, things can get pretty hairy.

The best time to surf here is mid-winter. When you think the water temperature drops to 9°C, you've got to be pretty hardcore to brave it. Best not mess with these locals.

Taco Bell Reef, Huntington Beach, California

Photo: Drew Martin Photography

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Fast food company Taco Bell hit the free advertising jackpot when this surf spot in legendary surf town Huntington Beach, California was named after the Tex-Mex restaurant – all because they decided to set up shop there.

Never has a Taco Bell been so important to surfers. It has fed legions of waveriders.

Surfer Magazine once said “surfing in California wouldn’t be what it is today," without it. Praise indeed for a fast food chain.

Shit Pipe, Isle of Man

Photo: Kenzie/Magic Seaweed

Shit Pipe. Sounds lovely, right?

When I first heard about this surf break, I hoped it didn't earn its title because of a nearby sewage pipe oozing excrement into the Manx.

Fortunately, it's called Shit Pipe because the pipes are, well, a bit crap.

It does have its moments. This stunning picture above made its way on to Magicseaweed after a user uploaded it, revealing its ‘secret location’ to the world. Oops!

Blind Beach, California

Photo: JinCia

This beach break is hidden away on the Sonoma Coast, a beautiful spot just off the famous Highway One. The same one referred to in the Red Hot Chili Peppers song Road Trippin'.

It’s not called Blind Beach because you have to surf it blindfolded, however fun that sounds.

It’s named so because you can’t see it from the road, meaning there are never too many people in the line up.

Jaws (Peahi), Hawaii

Photo: Shutterstock

When I first heard of Jaws, I thought perhaps there was a rather bloodthirsty shark hunting down local swimmers.

I've since learnt this break was given its name due to the dangerous waves that can be found here.

Maui surfers John Lemus and John Potterick christened Jaws after the Hollywood film, comparing the conditions to the unpredictability of a shark attack.

Its true name - Pe’ahi - means wave in Hawaiian. Not the kind of wave you surf, but the sort the Queen makes when she's passing by in a fancy car.

Stinky Bay, Jersey

Photo: jersey.com

Surfer on St Ouen's Bay

Unfortunately, this is not an ironic name. Stinky Bay or Le Pulec (its French name) really does stink.

This is due to the rotting seaweed that is found washed up on the shore. However it doesn't deter the many surfers who descend on to the bay to surf its smelly waves.

The reef is uneven which means the surf can be hit and miss. Which does beg the question, if it smells so badly, why surf there?

Winki Pop, Australia

Photo: aquabumps.com

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Winki Pop sounds like an overly colourful cartoon with surfing critters trying to teach babies to count. However, the story of how the name came about would have to be shown after the watershed.

The first person to surf this beach and nearby Bells Beach was Roger Falahey. He used to hang out with a bunch of serious party girls.

There was one in particular that his friend liked. She had a code word for their "intimate relations", which was Winki Pop.

History says when one day, Falahey and his mates were out on the beach and saw two crabs linked together. Falahey cried, “look they are having Winki Pop!" and since then the name has stuck.

Murderers Bay, New Zealand

Photo: Nicola Reeves

Also known as Golden Bay, this beach has a dark and bloody history.

In 1642 Dutch explorer Able Tasman came and anchored in the bay. The local Maori tribe, Ngati Tumatakokir, weren't happy about this and killed seven of Tasman’s men.

Not much is known about the Ngati Tumatakokir as they were wiped out by another band of Maoris in 1823.

Fortunately, things have since changed. Murderers Bay is now a laid-back surf town. The only thing that might kill you is the odd shark passing through.

Nutbags, near Cape Town, South Africa

Photo: Chris Preen

Surf_17Sept

I have been sworn to secrecy about this spot, so the photo above isn't a true representation.

All I can say is that its three hours away from Cape Town. Only locals go here and they say the waves are epic. You'll have to take their word for it.

Another piece of advice: look out for sharks – maybe that’s why they called it Nutbags...