The Biggest Reason For Sharks Attacking Surfers Is Women On Their Period, Claims Laird Hamilton
We examine the bold claims made by the man who surfed 'the heaviest wave ever ridden'
“The biggest, most common reason to be bitten [by a shark] is a woman on her period."
Having been effectively doorstepped in his pick-up by TMZ, the news equivalent of a particularly unpleasant attack of diarrhea the first time you meet your other-half's parents, the roving paparazzi-reporter asked Hamilton “What are the odds of being bitten? A lot of people are kind of worried".
Even if you pause this right there, it’s already an odd video. The dude has clearly spotted Hamilton, vaguely recognised him, gone up to ask a question only to realise he knows genuinely fuck all about surfing.
But what falls from Hamilton’s mouth is just bizarre. Sounding a bit like he’s doing an impression of Donald Trump, Laird starts with “Eerrr... well… They say that soda machines kill more people every year" He then babbles on about mistaken identity for a bit before dropping the big one: “The biggest, most common reason is a woman with her period."
“The biggest, most common reason to be bitten by a shark is a woman on her period"
“Which people don’t, you know, people don’t think about that.". No, Laird, they don’t, do they. Possibly because it’s a load of slightly mad bollocks. But he continues.
“If a woman has her period, there’s a certain amount of blood in the water". Presumably in a bid to bring some science to the table, Laird finishes with “it’s kind of like running around with a lightning rod, and then you wonder why you got struck by lightning."
There you go, women. According to Hamilton, it’s kind of your own fault for having a menstrual cycle. Right.
Happily, we can confirm that Laird Hamilton is, to use the modern vernacular, chatting all kinds of shit. As our pals at Cooler pointed out a full two years ago, sharks are not attracted to blood from women on their period.
Sharks aren’t actually attracted to blood per se, more the amino acid present not just in blood but also sweat, urine, and other bodily fluids. So if you’ve ever pissed in your wetsuit (and we know you have) you’re just as likely to attract a shark as a menstruating woman.
In fact, Cooler went on to speak to George Burgess of the International Shark Attack File, who said that there is no evidence to support the idea that women have ever been more prone to shark attacks while on their period.
Of course, this isn’t the first time Hamilton had accidentally dropped his misogyny card in public. Back in 2013 Brazilian surfer Maya Gabeira took on a monstrous wave in Nazare, Portugal. She suffered a wipe-out that snapped her ankle.
Most of the surfing world queued up to pay their sympathies, but not Hamilton. He claimed “Maya Gabeira doesn’t have the skills to be in these kinds of conditions" he said, as she was hobbling out of hospital, adding “She shouldn’t have been in this kind of surf.".
Stick to the waves, Laird.