Surfer Knocked Clean Off His Board In The Most Adorable Unprovoked Attack On A Human You'll Ever See
When this dude paddled out that day, he would never have expected this...
Stand Up Paddlers get a bit of a rough time from much of the rest of the surfing world. But this SUP-er got heckled from a rather surprising assailant.
All of a sudden, and seemingly out of nowhere, his board was upturned by a Manatee. Then there was what marine biologists refer to as 'a shit load of splashing around' before out SUP-ing hero found his feel, and the disgruntled sea cow stormed away, furiously.
It's impossible to say why the normally docile Manatee saw fit to dislodge the hapless surfer, but that wont stop us from having a red hot crack.
We think the manatee was furious with the lack of funding for grass roots art projects, specifically in the realm of modern interpretive dance. He saw the surfer as the personification of these austerity cuts that are choking the life out of the arts, so took the chance to make his feelings known when he saw it.
When later asked about the incident, the manatee said 'blurp squeek squeek vweep blurp eeep.' The surfer was unavailable for comment.