13 Foolproof Travel Tips for Visiting ’The Best Place on Earth’
You should visit British Columbia because it's everything England is not
British Columbia Canada has long been known as a snow sports mecca in the winter and a mountain bike disney land in summer.
Did you know however that you can enjoy all forms of action sport and general good times in the depths of winter.
1) Make Whistler Blackcomb your base. The humans are friendly, the mountains big, the pubs plentiful and, as long you’re not Australian, the women will love you.
2) Clear your schedule, like Jesus, and go for 40 days.
3) Meet up with fellow unemployed, alcoholic writer, who seems to have a knack for knowing when and where it is going to be ‘good’.
4) Over-communicate the short nature of your trip, so all the girls see you as an exotic finite resource.
5) Make sure to say yes to every opportunity for leisure that comes your way, for there will be many.
6) Ride during the storm, you never know (this season anyways) when the temperature may spike to the top of the mountain and ruin the fun.
7) If temps do spike, RUN AWAY, and go surfing on Vancouver Island, it’s close and the winter waves are wonderful.
8) Take care of aforementioned alcoholic writers dog (breed: miniature luck-dragon) while he is away on a NoBoarding vision quest, in return for lodgings.
9) Con Mpora, a second time (use a disguise), into buying yet more of your shitty tales from the road to offset the cost of all the local ale you drank.
10) Visit Victoria on Vancouver Island, Holy Cats it's like England… except for how many babes there are on Tinder…that’s not at all like England.
11) Return to the Mountains to catch another brief storm that will yield some great, but brief, boardin’.
12) Finally jump a ride to the Sunshine Coast, with a mountain bike enthusiast with a spare bicycle, and get a private tour of the Coast Gravity Park. Arguably the world's best bike park.
13) Return to Europe with tales of glory, pillow lines, babes, waves, bikes, boardin’, beer and going beserker in British Columbia.