As pets go, the humble goldfish is as standard as they come. Tiny glass bowl, multi-coloured fish food flakes, a small ornamental castle if you’re feeling like a player; we all know the set-up.
They swim around for two years, acting like Guy Pearce in Memento, before eventually dying and getting flushed down the toilet. In terms of domesticated companionship, goldfish offer the equivalent thrill ride of a pet cactus.
“They’re like Pokémon…with a penchant for serving up pain and misery.”
With that in mind, you’re probably thinking of getting an upgrade (something a bit more extreme, something in keeping with your hardcore personality). But hold on there, buddy!
Before you head on down to your local pet shop, you might want to check out our list of the most horrible fish on earth. They’re like Pokémon, really nasty Pokémon, with a penchant for serving up pain and misery.
1) Sea Lamprey
With a face like a spiky anus, the Sea Lamprey won’t be winning your local beauty pageant anytime soon. Underwater vampires, thirsty for blood, these things are dreadful on a number of levels.