Mountain Biking

18 Infuriating Trail Hazards Every Mountain Biker Will Understand

From horses and horse feces to off-course joggers and anarchist dogs... It's an irritating world

There are few better feelings than getting going at the start of a mountain biking session.

But no matter how big your smile when you set off at the start of the day, there are always a few things that can ruin your ride.

TheY Stay on your mind when you go to sleep at night…

Maybe it’s a horse, maybe it’s some horse shit or maybe it’s a hidden stump which put you head over handlebars and into a tree.

Whatever it is, it’ll still be on your mind when you go to sleep that night, more than that dialled line you hit, that awesome whip you nailed, and more than anything else you came across that day.

Below are just some of the most irritating things you can possibly encounter… Have a read on, and try not smash your laptop while you’re reading the list.

1) A Thick Fallen Branch With An Anarchist Mindset

2) A Strava-Racing Wanker

3) A Hidden Rock Shaped Like A Roman Spear

4) A Tiny Camouflaged Trail Stump Whose Only Motivations Are Hatred And Jealousy

5) A Stray Dog With An Eye For Chaos


6) Litter On The Trails Left By Devilish Fiends

7) Troubled Riders Going In The Wrong Direction

8) Fallen Trail Features Ignored By The Guilty Riders

9) This Horrific Wooden Booby Trap

10) Those “This Looks Like A Nice Place To Go For A Jog With My Headphones On Full Blast” Guys/Girls

11) The Entire Equestrian Population From Your Local Area

12) …And The Literal Shit They Leave Behind

13) Some Teen Weed Smokers Rebelling Against Their Parents

14) These Guys (Admittedly A More Region-Specific Trail Problem)

15) A Squirrel Who Just Wants To See The World Burn

16) That Mud Patch That Means You’ll Need To Wash Your Bike For Seven-Hours When You’re Done (Admittedly Also Normally The Funnest Parts Of The Trail)

17) A Water Feature Large Enough To Host A Commonwealth Swimming Event

18) Your Own Face. In The Mud.

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