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Mountain Biking

32 Signs That You’re Definitely Addicted To Mountain Biking

How many of these points apply to you? It's alright, you can be honest...

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A lot of people ride mountain bikes, but some think about it a little more often than others.

Some people wake up in the morning and jump straight into their gear, spend more time on their saddle than they do on their feet, and go to bed at night dreaming of perfect trails – often with their ride lying under their duvet next to them.

There may not be a scientific name for an addition to mountain biking, but there are certainly a fair few symptoms…

1) You Own At Least One Bike More Expensive Than Your Car

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2) …And This Is Your Only Dream Car

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3) You Have Steve Peat As The Desktop Background On Your Laptop

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4) Whenever You Drive Past Hills Or Mountains, You Regularly Crash Because You’re Thinking About Their Trail Potential

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5) You Probably Clean Your Bike More Than You Clean Yourself

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6) Whenever Someone Says ‘Big Balls’, You Think Of Danny Hart

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7) You Have A Borderline Suspicious Amount of Spades. Your Family Are Getting Worried…

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8) You Take Too Much Pride In Your Dirt Tan Lines

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9) You’re Also Fairly Proud Of The Amount Of Time You’ve Spent In Hospital

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10) …And Try And Crush A Can Of Red Bull At Every Given Opportunity

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11) You Occasionally Consider Whether Growing Your Hair Out Would Let You Ride Like Ratboy

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12) If You See Someone On A Mountain Bike, You Stare Down Their Bike To See Their Components

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13) When Someone Says ‘Nipples’ You Think Of These

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14) You Don’t Feel Like You’ve Earned A Beer Unless You’ve Been Riding

Horse & Dragon Tasting Tray. It's like a beer journey, I was told. Completely sold. Photo: Nina Zietman

15) You Have – On More Than One Occasion – Almost Started A Fight Over Your Chosen Size Of Wheel

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16) Your Current Facebook Cover Photo Is Either Of Your Bike Or Your Local Trails

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17) You Think Of Mountain Biking When You Hear Any of These Words

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18) …And The Thought Of Any of These Trail Hazards Gets You Uncontrollably Angry

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19) You Judge Amounts Of Money Based On How Many New Components You Could Buy With It

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20) You Don’t Understand These Guys

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21) Nor Why Everyone You Know Isn’t As Excited As You Come Downhill World Champs Day

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22) You Think Of Weather In Terms Of What State It Will Leave The Local Trails

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23) You Secretly Think Of That Wicked Whip You Nailed When Someone Asks What The Best Moment Of Your Life Was

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24) Any Circular Object Makes You Think Of A Bike Wheel

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25) You Spend At Least An Hour A Day Watching GoPro Footage

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26) You Regularly Consider Converting A Room In Your House Into A MTB-Only Zone

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27) You Have Been At Some Point (Or Currently Are) Addicted To This App

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28) You Understand How This Guy Feels

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29) You’ve Considered Getting, Or Already Have, A Regrettable Tattoo Like This

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30) The Phrase ‘Sam Hill Champery’ Slightly Turns You On

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31) You’ve Been In This Situation Various Times

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32) You Were Tagged Or Have Tagged Your Riding Mate In The Comments Section Of This Article…

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