Who likes ice cream? Everyone, good. Now, who likes being in a lush, snowy forest? Again, everybody. Excellent. Now, imagine you can combine the two.
Granted, when it comes to bushcrafts, making ice cream isn’t high on the traditional list, but this isn’t 1975, grandma! Get with the times, daddy-o.
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This video – this incredibly weird, almost unnerving video – shows you exactly how to make ice cream when you’re out adventuring in wintery woodland. Now, when we say the videos weird, it really is. It’s almost like some high-brow, art-house project.
Imagine David Lynch directing a show where Nigella Lawson cooks for Bear Grylls, but nobody says a word, and you’re kind of half way there.
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Seriously, the bit at the end where the fella is cutting up his own trousers to make a fire? Madness. You’ve taken a large frying pan on your hike, why not take some dry wood as well. Anyway.
If the video is a bit too nuts for you, or you don’t have the patience to sit through 12 minutes when about two minutes would do, we’ve noted down the process.
First, split a vanilla pod with a massive knife that wouldn’t look out of place in the hands of Jason Voorhees, scrape the seeds out and put them in a pan. Add honey and mix.
Next, add more honey to your pan and mix again, before spreading it out into a thin layer. Then dump some double cream on top and give it another good old mix before spreading it out again and leaving the pan to chill in a snow bank. Text book.
Back to the weird knife, chop a grapefruit into 2cm thick slices then, over a fire, caramelise some brown sugar in yet another frying pan that you’ve brought to the woods with you.
When the sugar starts bubbling, throw in your slices of grapefruit and let them cook for a few minutes. Then pour in a little Slivovitz. No, we had no idea what Slivovitz is either, but we used a website called Google to find out. It’s a Serbian fruit brandy made from damson plumbs. Kind of like a Balkan Buckfast, presumably.
Cook the sugary, boozy grapefruit for a little longer, then set it aside. Go back to the honey/vanilla/cream mess you made earlier, and throw some (preferably clean) snow in, and give it a good mix. It should end up, according to the video, looking a bit like cottage cheese. Yummy.
Pile this on your grapefruit slices and you’ve got forest ice cream, made from scratch. You know, do that, or just take a freezer box with a Cornetto in it. Either or.