We love hiking, and we love puns - thus, we decided that we should write an article about hiking puns. After all, you've got to find some way to fill the time when you're on a four-day expedition up Mount Everest don't you?
So, we've drafted a series of hiking puns for you to memorise and then shout repetitively at your climbing partners next time you're heading up the hills - we can almost guarantee it will both make them like you more and boost their morale on the climb. They'll move that much quicker because they'll be so desperate to get away from you.
We've done snow puns and bicycle puns and mountain bike puns and yoga puns and camping puns and travel puns and surfing puns.
Now it's time for hiking puns. And it's going to be summit special...
1) I was annoyed when my mate turned up for a hike with two left hiking shoes. I had to give him a right boot.
2) Hipsters tend to stick to hiking backcountry rivers. They’re less mainstream.
3) My friend left the beaten path to go and explore the forest. She left a trail behind her.
4) I took my pet Yogi hiking today. Bear with me on this one.
5) It's quite safe because Yogi doesn't have any teeth. He's a gummy bear.
6) There’s a new waterproof membrane that’s also trying to stop climate change. It’s called Al Gore-Tex.
7) Have you heard the story about the hill? I couldn’t get over it.
8) When the Queen’s husband got to the top of Kilimanjaro, he was high king.
9) When the Queen’s husband got to the top of Mount Everest, he was really high king.
10) When the Queen’s husband smoked a joint at the top of Mount Everest, he was really, really, really high king.
11) When the Queen’s husband got back to the palace after climbing Kilimanjaro and Mount Everest, she said: “Hi king!"
12) My mate was annoying me on our camping trip so I told him to take a hike.
13) Never go hiking with the Proclaimers. It's really f**king tiring.
14) I bought a new pair of hiking boots from a drug dealer. I’m not sure what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
15) Really the difference between hill and hell is just a fine line.
16) I came across two talking stones while I was out hiking. One was big but shy. The other was a little boulder.
17) I told my mate not to go hiking with a serial killer – or at least not on the same walking route as me. In the end he took the psychopath.
18) The trees asked me if I could see the forest for them, but I told them that’s not how eyes work. I can’t see the forest for the trees.
19) When he said he was an experienced trail runner, I didn’t realise he meant he trailed behind everyone else.
20) We were determined to carry on our hike around the lake, come hill or high water.
21) Getting to the top of the hill was great fun but it was all downhill from there.
22) If my friends ask my plans for today’s hike, I’ll summit up nicely.
23) Went trail running with a famous Hollywood actor called Christopher the other day, but I can’t remember his last name. “Walken?" asked my friend. “No. As I’ve said already, we were trail running."
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