We get a lot of packages in the Mpora office. Most of them, if we're being completely honest, aren't worth writing home about (please keep sending us stuff). This afternoon, however, things didn't play out like they usually do. Things were strange, and different, and weird. Things came in mysterious black boxes, and sat provocatively on my desk.
"What's this mysterious black box doing on my desk?" I shouted.
It was lunchtime, and I was the only person in the office. Undeterred by this awkward silence, I decided to plough on and delve into the world wide web for answers. The box was from Black Rock Originals and so, ever the detective, I thought it best to google the words 'Black Rock Originals'. Needless to say, I was stunned by what I discovered.
"Black Rock Originals - Refining the Perception of Cannabis."
I looked back at the black box on my desk. It had suddenly taken on a different air, no longer was it just a box, it was now an edgy rule-breaker...an up-yours to "the man" and all of his so-called "rules." I returned my gaze to the internet, and paid a visit to the Black Rock Originals website.
The website was refined, sophisticated, and not at all in-keeping with the stoner culture of Pineapple Express. There were photos, on this internet-website-place, photos of men and women sharing a joint and having a really nice time. I found a 'Cannabis Education' section, and some corporate 'Behind The Brand' spiel, and some more photos of people sharing a joint and having a really nice time.
And, I'm happy to report, there was a video. The video was the website's creme-de-la-creme, the icing on the cake, the cherry on Mr Kipling's Cherry Bakewell. There was action sports footage in the video, and leisurely drug taking, and vaguely erotic music. I looked back at the black box on my desk, and then back to the video on my screen.
I saw a man slipping a black box slyly into his suit pocket, a shot of a city highway, and some outdoorsy-camping stuff. I saw a DJ spinning-discs, a girl waving her arms in the air at some purple-lit nightclub and a close-up of some traffic lights. After all this, after the inexplicable montage had run its course, the video signed off with a beautifully predictable sign-off: "Take The High Road."
So, maybe you're sat there; sat there thinking "dude, enough with the play-by-play video analysis, what does this black box actually offer?" Well, it's a place to store your stash that much is clear. It's also, according to the website, "SMELL-PROOF", "OUTDOOR RATED", and "TRAVEL FRIENDLY."
If you don't mind someone shining a light into your face, and calling you a "punk" at Detroit Airport, then feel free to take this on a plane. Remember. It's travel friendly.
In conclusion, what have we learnt from all this? Well, we've learnt that Black Rock Originals specialise in suave-looking black cases for your weed (that much is clear). This looks like the kind of thing James Bond might carry around, if he ever got bored of the Vodka Martinis. We've also learnt, if you're interested in getting one, that they're $49.95.