10 Sketchy-As-Hell Ways To Get To The Bottom Of A Hill
Sponsored post: office chair, shopping trolley, unicycle...the possibilities are endless.
In a world where it can sometimes feel like everyone in the world, plus everyone in the world's mum, either snowboards or skateboards it's good to know that you have options.
If you want to stand out from the crowd, live a little dangerously, rip up the action sports rulebook and make a smoothie out of its pulp; why not check out these seriously crazy alternative ways of getting your adrenaline fix?
Also, be careful. Please be careful. Or, if you think being careful is a dirty word please do send us the footage. We'd love to see it.
1) High Speed Trike Racing
Next time someone says trikes are a "children's plaything", load this video on your laptop and then throw your laptop aggressively at that person's head. While they're stumbling around concussed, say something weird like "oh, so you think a tricycle is a toy do you?" Alternatively, you could be less psychotic and just politely show them this Red Bull edit.
2) Extreme Trash Binning
Say what you like about The Dudesons, say that Dudeson isn't the surname on their birth certificates for example, but never-ever accuse these chaps of not knowing how to crash downhill while inside a big trash bin. If you do they'll smugly wave this video in your face, and follow that up with a flatulence-fiesta in their underpants.
3) Downhill Office Chair
We've all done it. All of us, every single one of us. Don't pretend you haven't Tom Stevenson, and you Geoffrey Cavanagh, and you Heather Barlow, and you Peter McDonegal, and you Samantha Marlborough...especially you Samantha Marlborough. We've all swivelled on our office chair, looked out the window, and imagined...
Do you dream about action sports? If so, this might just be the extreme outlet you've been searching for. With mattress surfing, you need never leave the comfort of your bed ever again. Sure, you might have to set up some elaborate food delivery service, and the lack of toilet facilities might be a bit of an issue, but basically you'll be sorted for life.
5) Downhill Penny Farthing
If you thought flying downhill on a penny farthing was a sure-fire way to fall off a penny farthing and take a layer of skin off, you'd be right. This wannabe-Victorian-gentleman seems to be nailing it up until the point the bike gives off a horrible cranking sound. After that, the wobble and crash seem almost inevitable.
6) Pitchfork! Car Bumper! Computer Keyboard!
This music video, featuring Richie Jackson, proves once and for all that you don't need a skateboard to go skateboarding. Pitchfork? Nailed it. Car bumper? Nailed it. Computer keyboard? Nailed it...again. If you're still interested, the tune itself is pretty psychedelic.
7) Downhill Unicycling
Watching this video of a unicyclist tearing it downhill on one wheel, we find ourselves reminded of our own inadequacies. This guy, this guy! He tears it through the forest with such eye-melting ferocity, on one wheel lest we forget, that after viewing this clip all the way to the end we just sat in painful silence and thought about how we'd struggle to walk down the exact same trail.
8) Big Hill Barrel Role (Roll)
If you completely ignore the fact that the word 'roll' is misspelt, and that the camera lens appears to have been on the receiving end of some intense margarine spreading, this video of kid rolling downhill in a barrel is pretty great. Ok, it's not great but it's definitely acceptable. We love how much juice the "editors" got from one orange.
9) Indiana Jones...Meets Zorbing
You know that scene in Indiana Jones, where everyone's second favourite archaeologist Harrison Ford (Sir Tony Robinson from Time Team is our favourite) gets chased from a temple by a giant boulder? Of course you do, it's a seminal movie moment. Well, this video from Devin Super Tramp is a bit like that...but with added zorbs.
10) Extreme Downhill Shopping Cart (GTA V)
Ok, so this is technically from a video game. But, even so, it still looks like something we definitely want to try. All you need is a shopping trolley, a big old mountain, and a total disregard for the structural integrity of your bones/internal organs.
The Indestructibles, a new TV show sponsored by G-Shock, is coming soon to Dave.