How Not To Survive In The Wild: 9 Essential Tips That Only Real Men Will Understand

Nudity, mushrooms, and absinthe...

Stay Hydrated With Absinthe

Let’s face it; water is boring. Nobody, in the history of humanity, has ever had a good time drinking water.

Absinthe, on the other hand, now there’s a beverage that knows how to kick things up a notch. So fill your canteen with the stuff, undiluted of course, grab your rucksack and let the good times roll.

When out in the wild, drinking an alcoholic spirit strong enough to anesthetise an adult hippo might sound like the worst idea in the world. And, to be honest, you’d be right to think that.

Absinthe is so potent it will make climbing up trees and kayaking down rivers feel like climbing down rivers and kayaking up trees. But, come on, doesn’t that sound like fun?

Drink it from a sandcastle bucket, drink it with colourful curly straws; drink nothing but absinthe. Confusion will be followed by dehydration; dehydration will be followed by death. Mission accomplished. You’ve died in the wild.


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