Killer Hornets Set For Britain? Here’s The News You Really Don’t Want to Hear

"Invasion Of The Killer Hornets": Your favourite 1950s B-Movie just became a reality.


‘Invasion Of The Killer Hornets’ might sound like a 1950s B-Movie, but it could very soon be a Channel 5 documentary based on real-events in 2015. Yes, really!

Various news sources are reporting that ‘Asian Hornets’, which have supposedly killed at least six people in France, might be heading across the Channel this summer. Presumably, they’ll be getting on the Calais to Dover ferry?

The hornets are  believed to have travelled to France, within the last five years, on imported Chinese plants. Needless to say, these guys are seriously nasty bastards. Their main hobby, if you can really call it that, involves performing hostile takeovers on bee hives.


Not only has their aggressive behaviour had a devastating impact on honey production in rural France, it has also resulted in them establishing a foothold in the country, making them almost impossible to get rid of.

In between getting seriously rat-arsed on Jack Daniel’s honey and whiskey liqueur, chairwoman of the Norfolk Beekeepers Association, Carolyne Liston told sources that the hornets are a “very, very aggressive predator…,” and that they can “decimate bee colonies.”


The sting of these horrible, flying, shits has been compared to being stabbed by a hot needle. If the person has a severe allergic reaction to the initial sting, or is stung multiple times, the chance of death becomes a real possibility.

UKIP’s Nigel Farage is constantly bleating on about the “dangers” of immigrants, but it seems to us like he should be focusing his xenophobic nonsense at something actually dangerous; like, I don’t know, BIG KILLER HORNETS.

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