Road Cycling

Sir Bradley Wiggins Just Smashed A World Record… And The Internet Reacted Exactly How You’d Expect‏

"The only person faster than Bradley Wiggins is the scrote who stole my BMX in 2003"

When Sir Bradley Wiggins says that he’s going to attempt to do something, you know he’s almost definitely going to pull it off, and such was the case when the cyclist smashed the world record for the most distance rode in one hour over the weekend.

The Briton managed to cover an impressive 52.937km/38.88 miles, beating Alex Dowsett’s former 32.89m record by exactly 0.99 of a mile. Seeing as Alex only set that record back in May, he must be at least a litte bit pissed that it’s gone already – though we’re guessing seeing Dowsett set it got SBW even more confident about giving it a shot.

For his part, Wiggo is just glad it’s over, joking after the 218-lap success at Lee Valley VeloPark in London: “It was torturous. That’s the closest I have ever come to what it’s like to have a baby.”

After Fabian Cancellara had dawned a blaringly bold yellow Trek Domane in the 2012 Tour, Sir Bradley Wiggins, CBE wasn’t going to be outdone when he took the yellow jersey following Cancellara’s withdrawl. Wiggins was provided with a yellow Pinarello Dogma 2, and of course went on to win the contest.

Sir Bradley actually fell short of the 55.250km/221 lap target he had set for himself – so you could say that he’s a failure to himself and everyone around him – but he’s still become only the sixth man to claim a Tour de France title and break the hour record, and it’s safe to say his record will probably stand longer than his predecessor’s.

It’s some achievement to claim a world best by that big a margin, and as you would expect, the internet responded in fitting style.

When asked if he had ever fancied the record, Sir Chris Hoy admitted he was sure he could’ve nailed it, but only had he taken on the hour challenge one minute at a time over the course of a week.

The ‘Have I Got News For You’ lot made sure that all the mother’s out there gave Sir Bradley a stern shake of the head…

…and The Telegraph went all out on the Wiggo quotes as well. Any excuse to scribble 1000 words on childbirth, right?

Instagram user @jnsbseoul brought a rather more classy touch back to the record with an animation that had nothing to do with squeezing out babies:

Genius designer. Love it! >> RG @jnsbseoul: “His hour” #BradleyWiggins #wiggins #myhour #HourRecord #TeamSky #TeamWiggins #ProCycling #CREAMseoul by #jnsb #regramapp

A photo posted by Dave Ody (@uberdaveo) on

Sky Sports Cycling, meanwhile, plan to offer Bradley a freelance job fetching their groceries every weekend:

Joe thinks he already knows who the next lad breaking the record will be.

Christina won’t stop going on about this. Admittedly, probably a better time than most to bring it up.

But David’s having none of the Wiggo-fever. He’s clearly not a fan of that famous style.

Paul’s not even a cycling fan by the looks of things, but he was still bigging Bradley up.

Busby reckons he’s been more productive than the TfD Champ, although we’re not sure we agree.

Binstedman meanwhile outlines exactly what Wiggo must’ve been feeling as soon as he crossed that line. It was tough watching too, y’know…

There were quite a few calls for him to walk away quietly though. Apparently there’s a strong internet contingent that believes the record shouldn’t count if not completed on a children’s Raleigh Chopper.

Nevermind though, Alan’s got faith in him to step up to the plate and give it a go…

All in all though, it was mostly well wishing for Wiggo – Britain’s golden man with a Tour de France title and world record. The question on everyone’s lips now? Neal Rogers knows it…

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