Let’s set the scene. You’ve just returned from a week on the snow, hit the sun beds to make your goggle tan look better, and spent the past week curled up in a ball listening to James Blunt’s second album – yes, it exists – refusing to accept the fact that you’re back.
What now? Well, it sounds like you’re in the perfect place to start uploading all that sick footage you caught of your mate falling over and begin to piece together the holiday edit.
You don’t want to make just another edit though; to add to the legion of YouTube videos attempting to clone the ‘Art of Flight’. You want to make an edit that will stand out from the crowd, and whisper it, that someone other than your mother might actually watch.
To help you on your way, we’ve put together a list of some of the ski edit cliches you should steer clear from when you’re making your vid. The best edits are packed with shredding, stoke, snow and laughter, so stay away from what lies below…
1) Never, Under Any Circumstances, Soundtrack Your Edit With The Song ‘Sail’ by AWOLNATION
Why not: You’re not Travis Rice and you don’t have a helicopter.
Exception: You are Travis Rice and do have a helicopter.
2) Do Not Say “Dropping” Every Time You Start A Run, Unless It Is Painstakingly Obvious You’re Taking The P*ss
Why not: Odds on you’re not alone at the top of a gnarly mountain radioing your medical team in case you bail. We’re sure you’re up to some pretty rad stuff though, so just keep it natural.
Exception: If you’re alone at the top of a gnarly mountain radioing your medical team.
3) Avoid Featuring Continuous Clips Of More Than Five Seconds Long Of You Hitting Standard Piste Lines
Why not: This is the number one disease amongst amateur ski edits. That blue run you just tried to show me seven straight minutes of? I made it 30 seconds through then started painting the walls of my bedroom just so I could watch them dry.
Exception: No exceptions. Only show full lines if they are absolutely bonkers!
4) Make Sure 75 Percent Of Your Edit Isn’t Made Up Of You Downing Beer And Throwing Up In A Bath Tub
Why not: C’mon dude. You want your gran seeing that?
Exception: If your edit has been specifically commissioned by the government for an upcoming project trying to increase levels of self-respect amongst school kids.
5) Don’t Pole Bash For Any Period Of Time Longer Than 0.007 Seconds Without Irony
Why not: There’s a very, very small chance you actually need to.
Exception: Your aim in life is to make your friends, family and everyone you meet think you’re a complete and utter tool.
6) Cut The Footage Of You Skipping The Chairlift Queue
Why not: You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, no need to show everyone else the evidence.
Exception: If you’re race to the front of the chairlift queue is part of an elaborate race to the top of the mountain, where your opposition are battling to beat you on a combination of snowmobiles, huskies and the back of wild brown bears.
7) You Don’t Need To Cut To Your Own Face Screaming Every Time You Reach The End Of A Run
Why not: If we wanted to see your face for more than 5 seconds, we’d stalk you on Facebook. In fact, that’s what we’re doing right now. You handsome devil, you.
Exception: Your edit is actually a parody of a 1990’s Hollywood horror movie.
8) If Possible, Suppress the Urge To Add A Voiceover Talking About How “The True Spirit Of Riding Is All About Fun”
Why not: Ugh. Been there. Heard that.
Exception: Morgan Freeman, or More Than Freeman, happens to be a personal friend of yours.
9) Don’t Feature A Weather Forecast In Your Edit
Why not: We can see what the weather is like in your edit, and yes, we’re very jealous
Exception: There’s a giant storm coming so strong it sporadically spawns a sequel to ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ starring Jake Gyllenhaal.
10) Don’t Cut Back To The View From Your Balcony Every Five Seconds
Why not: It’s not that good a view, and even if it is, one shot will do…
Exception: The view from your balcony happens to be the film ‘Space Jam’ screening on a nearby wall.
11) Don’t Put Every Single Freakin’ Shot In Slow-Mo
Why not: Slow-motion overdosing is amongst the biggest killers in the modern day edit world. Don’t fall for the trap.
Exception: If you and your friends move at double the speed of a normal person.
12) Don’t Be Afraid To Showcase Some Apres Ski
Why not: You may not be a pro, but we’re betting you’re pretty damn good at partying it up. Why not chuck in a couple quick clips to show us what you’ve got…
Exception: If you’re planning to overdo it, keep it off camera. See point 4.
13) The Word ‘Gnarly’ Is Not To Be Used More Than Once Every 30 Seconds
Why not: You’ll lose your audience as soon as they hear it for a fifth time just before you drop into that ‘gnarly’ red mogul section.
Exception: You’re ski edit happens to include a triple cork, wingsuiting and juggling three flaming basketballs at the same time.
14) Try Not To Open With A Timelapse Of The Journey From Your Door To Your Arrival In Resort
Why not: If you’re going down this route, start the timelapse when you make it to the continent at least. Dover is not an exciting place.
Exception: Your timelapse also captured you growing a 7ft beard in the time between your departure and arrival.
15) Be Careful With Full Frontal Nudity
Why not: You could get your ski pass pulled, arrested, or at very best mentally scar all who actually watch your final production.
Exception: You’re outstandingly, and we mean absolutely outstandingly, attractive.
16) Don’t Chuck In Every Single Video Or Picture You Captured On Camera
Why not: The edit will end up being three hours long and will violate rules 3, 4, 7, 9 and 10 of this list.
Exception: You don’t want anyone to ever watch your final product.
17) Don’t Be Afraid To Ignore Every One Of The Points Above, Except #16, As Long As It’s Blatantly Clear That You’re Taking The P*ss
Why not: Parody is funny, when executed well.
Exception: You have a terrible sense of humour.
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