29 Surefire Ways To Piss Off Your Mates On The Mountain

Are these the worst things you can possibly do to a skier or snowboarder?

There are plenty of rules – both written and unwritten – when it comes to skiing and snowboarding. They’re there to make sure everyone has a good time, and that as few people as possible get punched in the face.

Occasionally though, you might decide to be a bit of a dickhead and ignore these rules. You might even decide, for one reason or another, that you’re going to ruin your best mates day.

“Don’t blame us if you’ve lost a few (or all) of your Closest friends by the end of the day…”

Maybe they stole your last Rolo a couple of summers back, maybe they pulled that guy/girl you were after in the bar last night, or maybe you’re just a bit of a psychopath set on destruction.

For all you normal people out there – apparently there are a few – look at this article as an anti-etiquette guide. Avoid doing any of these things and you’ll be A-ok.

For those who just want to see the world burn however, we’ve got a few ideas. Just don’t blame us if you’ve lost a few (or all) of your friends by the end of the day…

1) Continually Cut Them Off At Every Opportunity

2) Try And Work It So That They Always Have To Take Chairlift Rides Alone

3) Have Your GoPro – Mounted On A Selfie Stick  – Constantly In Their Face

4) If They Bail. Laugh. Keep Doing So For Days On End

5) Push Them Off The T-Bar

6) If You’re A Skier, Constantly (And Loudly) Moan At Boarders For Taking Too Long To Strap In

7) If You’re A Boarder, Take Far, Far Too Long To Strap In

8) Make An Active Effort To Get In Front Of Them Then Sit Directly In The Middle Of Their Line

9) If You’re A Skier, Offer Boarders A Pole To Pull Them Along Flats. Retract It And Ski Off Before They Can Grab It

10) Constantly Complain About Conditions, Even If It’s Bluebird

11) Unclip Your Mates Skis At Any Given Opportunity

12) If Pressed To Hurry Up, Softly Reply:

13) Constantly Propose High Fives Then Leave Them Hanging

14) Tell Them You’re Taking The Run To The Right Once Off The Chairlift. Take The One On The Left Once They’ve Dropped In

15) Occasionally Start Violently Screaming When You’re Standing Next To Them

16) Cut The Chairlift Queue With Your Mate, Then Point At Them And Yell “He Cut In”

17) Put As Much Snow As Humanly Possible Down The Back Of Their Jacket

18) Wait Till Your Boarder Mate Has Strapped In. Unstrap Them, Clip In, Then Ride Off

19) No Matter What Colour Run You’re On, Constantly Claim It “Would Be A Green At The Resort You Were At Last Winter”

20) Only Speak In Puns. Keep Telling Them They’re Skiing Has Gone A Bit Downhill, Then Hysterically Laughing

21) Knick Your Mate’s Ski Poles. Chuck Them In Completely Different Directions Then Ride Off

22) Be As Condescending As Possible About Their Equipment, Clothing And Experience

23) Choose One Very Cheesy Song From The 1990s. Sing It. All Day

24) When Walking With Skis, Be Sure To Try And Hit The Person Walking Behind You In The Eye

25) If Your Mate Drops A Hat/Scarf/Gloves/GoPro, Acknowledge It, Then Don’t Pick It Up

26) Convince A Reluctant Mate To Go On A Park Run, Then Yell: “Everyone Look, This Guy Is Insane!” As He Drops In

27) Whenever Your Mate Drops Into The Park, Make The Cross Sign To Signal Someone’s Down And They Shouldn’t Hit Any Kickers, Even Though It’s Definitely Not True

28) Constantly Put Your Skis On Top Of Your Mate’s Snowboard – Or Vice Versa – When Waiting In The Lift Queue

29) At The End Of The Day, Tell Them: “You’re Starting To Look A Little Bit Better On The Slopes. Keep Working On It!”

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