Some areas of the Greater Manchester area are expecting up to 20cm of snowfall on Wednesday and Thursday, which is approximately 20cm more than has fell in much of the Alps so far this year. What’s more, Scotland is also set to be hit by snow, later in the week as well, making Britain the nucleus of European skiing and snowboarding. Maybe.

Naturally, this being Britain, panic has already started. Mind have been lost at the ensuing traffic chaos, and the Manchester Evening news are warning about something called Thunder Snow, which sounds more like something you’d buy off a dodgy looking fella in Moss Side than you’d see occurring in the skies there.

But, of course, while road users are getting in a flap and panic, and car shops are putting the price of anti-freeze up by a million per cent, snowboarders and skiers in the areas affected, both in the North West and Scotland are already buzzing at the thought of finally hitting up those trannies and handrails they’ve eyed up for years.

Every year there seems to be a warning that one place or another is going to be besieged by freak snowfall, freezing pigeons to the street, and forcing all but the most skilful Uber drivers to stay at home, so we’re not holding our breath. But, if it does dump in Manchester this week, Mpora will be there.

Now, where did we put that winch?