45 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Surfing

Anyone who claims they actually like surfing is lying...

1) If anybody ever tells you that they like surfing, don’t listen to them

Photo: Braun. S

2) Don’t believe their lies

Photo: Ian McDonnell

3) Surfing’s rubbish

Photo: Yin Yan

4) You have to battle past the crowds on the beach

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

15 Surfing Quotes That Completely Define The Sport

5)  Into icy cold water

Photo: Matt Carr

6) Which is full of filth and pollution

Filth – Photo: Rich Inpit

7) And the more-than-occasional dog turd

8) In the wind and rain

Photo: James Renhard

9) Just to sit around waiting for a wave

Photo: Alf Alderson

10) A wave that never comes

Photo: Nina Zietman

11) And when it does it’s tiny

12) Or way too big

Photo: Luke Gartside

13) If you do happen to find a few rideable sets, you’ll have to fight for them

Photo: Calum Jelley

Instagram vs. Reality: What Surfing Is Really Like…

14) And everybody will hate you

Photo: Paul Nicklen

15) Because there are no friends in surfing

Photo: Surf City USA

16) Locals hate anybody from a different postcode

Photo: Matt Carr

17) The women are ugly

Photo: A Zarubaika

18) And the men are worse

Photo: People Images

19) Everybody’s much fitter than you

Jimbo Pellegrine is larger than life – Ashley Bickerton

20) The views are rubbish

Photo: BestSurfschools

21) And completely devoid of culture

Ouakam, Senegal – Photo: Matt Carr

22) Once you’ve seen one wave, you’ve seen them all

Shipstern Bluff, Tasmania – Photo:

23)There’s only about 4 places to surf in the world

North East of England – Photo: Greg Martin

24) There are no role models in surfing

Mick Fanning along side teenage cancer patient Ben Beasley – Photo: Jared Williams

9 Life Hacks That Will Make Surfing Way Simpler For You

25) And you can never make a career out of surfing

Kelly Slater, doin’ alright – Photo: Jason Alexander

26) It’s just for lazy bums

Gabrielle Reece and Laird Hamilton – Photo: espn

27) There’s no adventures to be had surfing

Photo: Calum Jelley

28) No social scene

Photo: Bura Surfhouse

29) No parties

Photo: YouTube

30) No festivals

Boardmasters – Photo: Fistralbeach Hotel

31) And competitions are always so far away from the public

Photo: James Renhard

32) You can only surf for a few months during the summer

Photo: Bob Tema

33) You’re virtually forced to dress like an aquatic gimp

Photo: Outerknown

34) If you don’t live near the ocean, don’t even bother

Photo: Stuart Kenny

35) There are absolutely no tricks in surfing

Zoltan The Magician kickflipping his board – Photo: YouTube

36) In short, surfing is rubbish

Photo: Epic Stock Media

5 Of The Most Insanely Inappropriate Things That People Have Ever Surfed On

37) It’s no fun at all

Photo: Stuart Kenny

38) It’s just silly, really

Photo: Sean Yoro

39) And you’ll never be accepted

Photo: Lou Boyd

40) Not that you’d want to

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

41) It’s dull

Post-surf beer, anybody? – Photo: Callum Jelley

42) So if anybody tells you they like surfing

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

43) They’re a liar

Photo: Luke Gartside

44) It’s just a group of people saying “dude” and “gnarly”

Young, dumb, and full of cum… – 20th Century Fox

45) Actually, that last one’s kinda true

Photo: Catherine Votovich

You may also like:

Drugs, Sharks, And A Glasscock: The World’s Unluckiest Surfers Have Some Unbelievable Stories…

Here’s Scientific* Proof That Surfers Make The Best Lovers


Newsletter Terms & Conditions

Please enter your email so we can keep you updated with news, features and the latest offers. If you are not interested you can unsubscribe at any time. We will never sell your data and you'll only get messages from us and our partners whose products and services we think you'll enjoy.

Read our full Privacy Policy as well as Terms & Conditions.