“The biggest, most common reason to be bitten [by a shark] is a woman on her period.”
Having been effectively doorstepped in his pick-up by TMZ, the news equivalent of a particularly unpleasant attack of diarrhea the first time you meet your other-half’s parents, the roving paparazzi-reporter asked Hamilton “What are the odds of being bitten? A lot of people are kind of worried”.
Even if you pause this right there, it’s already an odd video. The dude has clearly spotted Hamilton, vaguely recognised him, gone up to ask a question only to realise he knows genuinely fuck all about surfing.
But what falls from Hamilton’s mouth is just bizarre. Sounding a bit like he’s doing an impression of Donald Trump, Laird starts with “Eerrr… well… They say that soda machines kill more people every year” He then babbles on about mistaken identity for a bit before dropping the big one: “The biggest, most common reason is a woman with her period.”