How To… Steal Your Best Mate’s Partner

Surfers, we know this is an eternal dilemma for you

Your mate’s life partners are hot. Hot because you can’t have them. Hot because you know all about them, except the secret things and places that you don’t. Hot because you can afford to be yourself without feeling the need to impress. Hot because, well, because they are untouchable.

Except, sometimes, you can touch them.

Sure, the fall out can be considerable. Many a friendship has been torched by this very touching business. Yet, perversely, it is this risk, the chance of lighting an emotional bonfire that only adds to friction. Oh, it’s bad, sad and immoral, but it’s exciting. That’s the point.

“It’s bad, sad and immoral, but it’s exciting. that’s the point…”

The first mistake many mates make is to try and attempt to be everything that the current boyfriend/girlfriend is not. The thing is, the girl or guy in question is not going out with the dude or dudette for no good reason. You want to offer not a contrast, but an alternative. Not the opposite, but a solution.

You need to be sympathetic to their troubles with the partner, but never outrightly critical. You don’t need take sides, but be on both their sides. Over time, you will become a confidant and a rock, an alternative and a massive ‘what if’.

Then, when the timing is right and the drinks have reached projectile vomit level, you wait for them to make the move.

Of course, when it all goes tits up, when you’ve scorched a friendship, when she or he is your partner and the excitement is gone, you can always count on one of your best friend’s to step up the plate.

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