I’m drowning. Well I’m pretty sure I am. It’s dark, cold, I need to breathe really soon and I’m not sure which way is up.
My lungs force me to take a breath a fraction of a second before I break the surface, filling my lungs with Newcastle Brown Ale.
I wish. The only thing that the water in Tynemouth has in common with the beer is colour. I cough, puke, cough again. The surf is 2ft max.
As you can probably tell, I’m no pro. Which is why I’ve written down a few words of wisdom I’ve learnt on the way. This is an idiot’s guide on learning to surf…