28 Things Every Bouldering Beginner Thinks About The First Time They Try It - Mpora

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Rock Climbing, Abseiling & Canyoning

28 Things Every Bouldering Beginner Thinks About The First Time They Try It

Remember your first time? Of course you do. Nobody forgets losing their bouldering virginity.

Bouldering is awesome. Seriously awesome. It challenges the body. It challenges the mind. It…well…it’s just rad, and if you think differently – you’re wrong. You’re just wrong, OK?

Bouldering for Beginners | Everything You Need To Know About Bouldering

So, maybe you’re a bit of an old hand when it comes to bouldering. Or maybe you’ve only been half a dozen times. Maybe you live at a bouldering centre, and the owners of the bouldering centre haven’t found out yet. We don’t know. What we do know is that everyone who considers themselves to be a boulderer were rookies once upon a time. There’s always a first time, after all. Remember yours?

This, right here, is what’s happening inside the head of every single bouldering beginner.

1) How much chalk is too much chalk?

Photo: iStock.

2) Can I go yet, or is that person too close?

Photo: iStock.

3) I don’t know what to do with my feet

Photo: iStock.

4) I don’t know what to do with my hands

Photo: iStock.

5) OK. Keep your cool. You got this

Photo: iStock.

6) Remember your very brief training

Photo: iStock.

7) Alright, I’m bouldering. I’m literally bouldering!

Photo: iStock.

8) It might be on the easiest grade, but who cares?

Photo: iStock.

9) I AM BOULDERING. I AM A BOULDERER

Photo: iStock.

10) Right, so how do I get back down?

Photo: iStock.

11) I think I might be stuck

Photo: iStock.

12) Yeah, I’m definitely stuck

Photo: iStock.

13) No need to panic, I’m sure there’s…

Photo: iStock.

14) …OH GOD. THERE IS LITERALLY NO WAY DOWN

Photo: iStock.

15) Help

Photo: iStock.

16) HELP!

Photo: iStock.

17) Why can nobody see that I’m in desperate need of help?

Photo: iStock.

18) Might as well face it. I’m up here forever now

Photo: iStock.

19) I am going to grow old and die on this bouldering wall

Photo: iStock.

20) “Jump,” they say. Hahahaha! There’s no way I’m jumping

Photo: iStock.

21) I am quite tired though

Photo: iStock.

22) Maybe I should just jump?

Photo: iStock.

23) Fuck it. I’m just going to jump. Goodbye cruel world

Photo: iStock.

24) AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!

Photo: iStock.

25) Oh, well that was remarkably painless

Photo: iStock.

26) Bouldering is fun. Let’s do some more bouldering.

Photo: iStock.

27) Hang on

Photo: iStock.

28) Who the fuck is that, and how did they get to be so good?

Photo: iStock.

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