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45 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Surfing

Anyone who claims they actually like surfing is lying...

1) If anybody ever tells you that they like surfing, don’t listen to them

Photo: Braun. S

2) Don’t believe their lies

Photo: Ian McDonnell

3) Surfing’s rubbish

Photo: Yin Yan

4) You have to battle past the crowds on the beach

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

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5)  Into icy cold water

Photo: Matt Carr

6) Which is full of filth and pollution

Filth – Photo: Rich Inpit

7) And the more-than-occasional dog turd

8) In the wind and rain

Photo: James Renhard

9) Just to sit around waiting for a wave

Photo: Alf Alderson

10) A wave that never comes

Photo: Nina Zietman

11) And when it does it’s tiny

12) Or way too big

Photo: Luke Gartside

13) If you do happen to find a few rideable sets, you’ll have to fight for them

Photo: Calum Jelley

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14) And everybody will hate you

Photo: Paul Nicklen

15) Because there are no friends in surfing

Photo: Surf City USA

16) Locals hate anybody from a different postcode

Photo: Matt Carr

17) The women are ugly

Photo: A Zarubaika

18) And the men are worse

Photo: People Images

19) Everybody’s much fitter than you

Jimbo Pellegrine is larger than life – Ashley Bickerton

20) The views are rubbish

Photo: BestSurfschools

21) And completely devoid of culture

Ouakam, Senegal – Photo: Matt Carr

22) Once you’ve seen one wave, you’ve seen them all

Shipstern Bluff, Tasmania – Photo: adrenalineart.com

23)There’s only about 4 places to surf in the world

North East of England – Photo: Greg Martin

24) There are no role models in surfing

Mick Fanning along side teenage cancer patient Ben Beasley – Photo: Jared Williams

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25) And you can never make a career out of surfing

Kelly Slater, doin’ alright – Photo: Jason Alexander

26) It’s just for lazy bums

Gabrielle Reece and Laird Hamilton – Photo: espn

27) There’s no adventures to be had surfing

Photo: Calum Jelley

28) No social scene

Photo: Bura Surfhouse

29) No parties

Photo: YouTube

30) No festivals

Boardmasters – Photo: Fistralbeach Hotel

31) And competitions are always so far away from the public

Photo: James Renhard

32) You can only surf for a few months during the summer

Photo: Bob Tema

33) You’re virtually forced to dress like an aquatic gimp

Photo: Outerknown

34) If you don’t live near the ocean, don’t even bother

Photo: Stuart Kenny

35) There are absolutely no tricks in surfing

Zoltan The Magician kickflipping his board – Photo: YouTube

36) In short, surfing is rubbish

Photo: Epic Stock Media

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37) It’s no fun at all

Photo: Stuart Kenny

38) It’s just silly, really

Photo: Sean Yoro

39) And you’ll never be accepted

Photo: Lou Boyd

40) Not that you’d want to

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

41) It’s dull

Post-surf beer, anybody? – Photo: Callum Jelley

42) So if anybody tells you they like surfing

Photo: Ed Howell-Jones

43) They’re a liar

Photo: Luke Gartside

44) It’s just a group of people saying “dude” and “gnarly”

Young, dumb, and full of cum… – 20th Century Fox

45) Actually, that last one’s kinda true

Photo: Catherine Votovich

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