8 Simple Ways to Open a Bottle of Beer on a Mountain Bike
Brew-tally simple life hacks to help you get to your end of ride beer...
We’ve all been there. You take a moderately warm bottle of beer out of your bag after a day on the trails and just as you’re getting ready to pop open the top you realise you’ve forgotten your bottle opener.
So, what do you do? You only have your mountain bike gear and your ride itself with you, and you’re prepared to go to any length to get the bottle open short of sticking it in between your teeth.
Luckily, if you do indeed have the standard things that most people take on any ride on a mountain bike, you should be able to open it up without much hassle, and even if you don’t have anything with you but your bike, there’s still a bunch of ways to get to your beer – though obviously opening a bottle on your bike could scratch or slightly damage your beloved if not done properly.
Open your jotters, class. It’s time to learn some important life lessons. Here's how to open a beer on your bike...
Method 1: Open a Beer Bottle on a Bike Wheel
Popularised through endorsements from mountain biking legends from Hans Rey to Greg Minnaar, the Wheel Spin method involves turning your bike upside down and spinning one of your wheels as fast as you can, before bringing the bottle slowly towards the spokes at an angle until one of them catches the bottle and does the work for you.
The bottle may clunk off a few of the spokes before popping open, but if you make sure you’ve got the bottle coming up against spokes that are coming from the bottom of the wheel to the top then it should pop open no bother.
We imagine it’s possible to damage both your spokes and your hand while attempting this, so try and... not do that. Here’s Greg and Hans to give you some working examples:
Method 2: Open a Beer Bottle on a Bike Pedal
One of the best ways to get a bottle of beer open using your bike without actually damaging any components is to flick it open on the pedals.
You should be able to put the bottle cap between one of the slits off the centre of the pedal / the retention mechanism and just pop the bottle top off like it’s a normal bottle opener. If you hold the beer steady and solid and get the edge of the cap right in the perfect position, you just have to pull up the pedal slightly to open up the beer.
This has been known to break a few bottles in the process though so take care!
Method 3: Open a Beer Bottle on a Bike Grip
This one requires a mate to hold your bike still for you while you pop the top open, or a tree or equivalent that you can prop your bike up against.
Place the edge of the bottle cap at the end of your grip with one hand, and then hit hard down on the bottle cap with the palm of your other hand.
The beer should open up similar to if you’d done this with a table or any other hard surface, and there shouldn’t be any real damage to your bike. Careful with that palm placement though.
Of course you could also do this with numerous parts of your frame but if you’d consider doing that we'd question your priorities.
Method 4: Open a Beer Bottle on Your Chainring
Simple and effective, though not the best method for anyone particularly precious about their components; stick the cap of the beer on the granny gear and then use your bottom bracket to pry the beer open.
The beer cap will have various little holes or hooks popping out, and if you pry these open one by one and do so slowly, you won’t damage your ride and the beer will open once two or three of the hooks have opened up.
Method 5: Open a Beer Bottle on a Bike Pump
If your bike pump has a sturdy handle then it’s often possible to open a beer just by prying it open with the edge of the handle. This is harder but still possible with a small hand-pump, though you’re in danger of breaking off parts of the pump if it’s made of cheap plastic.
On a smaller pump you can be better off by hooking the beer top onto the lock on the bike pump used to secure the pump in place and then hitting it on the cap.
Method 6: Open a Beer Bottle With a Bike Helmet
Your helmet can be used to open a beer in a similar way to lock on grips. Put the cap of the beer on the edge of the helmet and hit down hard with your palm. Voila! The beer is open. Again, there's a chance this may harm your helmet or make it a lot weaker... so given the number of alternatives, we probably wouldn't recommend this.
Method 7: Open a Beer Bottle With Allen Keys
Ever opened up a bottle of beer with a key before? You have to pry open two or three of the hooks of the bottle cap and then the thing pings off. This can also be done with an allen key or multi-tool, though careful to not cut your fingers.
Method 8: Open a Beer Bottle With a Pedal Wrench / Spanner
Okay so we know not everyone carries a pedal wrench or a spanner around with them on every ride, but if you do then you’re in luck. It pretty much works as a normal bottle opener.
Finally? Sit back, take a look at your good work and enjoy your beer.