Fisher-Price Have Made a Turbo Trainer for Three Year Olds… And We Want One
Here’s the toy that will make you wish you were you a toddler again…
Toy company Fisher-Price have just unveiled the toy to end all toys – a cycling turbo trainer designed for your three year old.
Here at Mpora, we see this as miraculous news. Imagine how stoked you would be as a three year old to bundle into your living room only to find that the spot usually reserved for regurgitating macaroni and cheese is now home to a shiny new bicycle that looks like something from Tron.
Sure, you’d have to find somewhere new to throw up that mac and cheese, but it’s a price worth paying to get your peddle on – and we can’t imagine any kid who owns this thing not falling in love with cycling for real in the future.
Furthermore, this thing would be great for tiring out your kids on after they’ve had one too many skittles or flumps (remember flumps?) or whatever kids are eating these days. It’s like a hamster wheel for miniature human beings.
Of course, as do all most seemingly fun things these days, the toy also comes with “an educational twist". It’s actually called “The Think and Learn Smart Cycle", and comes with a tablet holder, or can be paired via Bluetooth to a TV allowing kids to play educational games while pedalling.
Educational games, as we imagine you’re well aware, are the worst kinds of games, so we see this particular add-on as optional, though the educational games are stored on an app that comes with the bike which can be downloaded from the App Store or Google Play.
Despite the learning though, it’s nice to know that Fisher-Price are still at it and innovating.
When I was about five years old, I walked down the stairs on Christmas Day to unwrap a Fisher-Price pirate ship with working cannons – working fucking cannons – and despite having lived through a few decades since then, that’s probably still the best moment of my life.
I’m not sure if that says more about the quality of the pirate ship or the quality of my life, but either way, I have somewhat of a soft spot for Fisher-Price. But I digress. This thing looks great. If you have a kid, go buy it and they’ll probably turn out to be Chris Froome.
Or maybe they'll just live in your house and sponge off you until your 40. Hard to tell.