1) Shout "SHARK" when it gets quiet out back


2) Reverse the car over your mate's new surfboard

3) Put your wetsuit on like this

Photo: karenrussell.typepad.com

Surfing Wetsuit Backwards Kook

4) Wear scuba goggles because you don't want your contact lenses to fall out

Photo: iStock

Man Scuba Goggles Surfer

5) Make it a personal aim to drop in on every single local

Photo: Etnies

Dropping In Surfer Kook

6) Wake up and tell your mates to go back to bed because it's flat...

Photo: iStock

7) Yoink a stranger's towel down in the car park - and run away laughing

Photo: The Sun

Naked Man Car Park

8) Ingest sewage water and get the shits for three days straight

Photo: iStock

Toilet Pants Down Diahorrea

9) Leave your key under the wheel of your car and come back to find this...

Photo: iStock


10) Do this with your surfboard at every given opportunity

Photo: Network A

Penis Surfboard Tie Dye

11) Try to communicate with locals by speaking LOUDLY…AND…SLOWLY…IN…ENGLISH

Language No Idea

Language No Idea

12) Shout over to your mate, "I think I just saw an aqua turd floating over there"

Photo: iStock

surfers out back

13) Or alternatively, "Mate, that smells like one of yours..."

Photo: iStock

14) Have sex really loudly in your van in the car park

Photo: Reddit

Van Life Sex Surfing

15) Leave wax on the dashboard of your friend's fancy new automobile

Photo: Tumblr

Surf Wax Dashboard Car Surfing

16) Tell your beginner friend that they definitely do not need to wax their board


17) Insist on blasting Destiny's Child's Greatest Hits through the car speakers while you get changed

Photo: Two And A Half Men

Singing Car

18) And accuse grannies in the car park of perving on you...

Photo: iStock

Old Lady Granny Shocked

19) Say to the person next to you in the line-up in a serious tone: “I’m the best surfer out here, by the way..."

Photo: The Inertia

Surfer Dick Swearing Middle Finger

20) Call a wave... and then back out last minute

Photo: iStock

Surfing Paddling Dropping In

21) Say to all your mates: "I think I'd like to take up bodyboarding..."

Bodyboarding Jude Law Surf Kook

Bodyboarding Jude Law Surf Kook

22) Shout “FIST-BUMP, BRO!" at anybody you see, holding your fist out awaiting recognition

Photo: iStock

23) Say “I’m afraid of water, so don’t panic if you hear screaming". Immediately start screaming...

Photo: Tumblr

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