1) Shout "SHARK" when it gets quiet out back

Shark-surfer

2) Reverse the car over your mate's new surfboard

3) Put your wetsuit on like this

Photo: karenrussell.typepad.com

4) Wear scuba goggles because you don't want your contact lenses to fall out

Photo: iStock

5) Make it a personal aim to drop in on every single local

Photo: Etnies

6) Wake up and tell your mates to go back to bed because it's flat...

Photo: iStock

7) Yoink a stranger's towel down in the car park - and run away laughing

Photo: The Sun

8) Ingest sewage water and get the shits for three days straight

Photo: iStock

9) Leave your key under the wheel of your car and come back to find this...

Photo: iStock

10) Do this with your surfboard at every given opportunity

Photo: Network A

11) Try to communicate with locals by speaking LOUDLY…AND…SLOWLY…IN…ENGLISH

Language No Idea

12) Shout over to your mate, "I think I just saw an aqua turd floating over there"

Photo: iStock

13) Or alternatively, "Mate, that smells like one of yours..."

Photo: iStock

14) Have sex really loudly in your van in the car park

Photo: Reddit

15) Leave wax on the dashboard of your friend's fancy new automobile

Photo: Tumblr

16) Tell your beginner friend that they definitely do not need to wax their board

drunk-seal

17) Insist on blasting Destiny's Child's Greatest Hits through the car speakers while you get changed

Photo: Two And A Half Men

18) And accuse grannies in the car park of perving on you...

Photo: iStock

19) Say to the person next to you in the line-up in a serious tone: “I’m the best surfer out here, by the way..."

Photo: The Inertia

20) Call a wave... and then back out last minute

Photo: iStock

21) Say to all your mates: "I think I'd like to take up bodyboarding..."

Bodyboarding Jude Law Surf Kook

22) Shout “FIST-BUMP, BRO!" at anybody you see, holding your fist out awaiting recognition

Photo: iStock

23) Say “I’m afraid of water, so don’t panic if you hear screaming". Immediately start screaming...

Photo: Tumblr

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