What would you do if a bear approached you, out in the wild? Not ‘what should you do’ but what would you actually do?
If you’re into kayaking like Mary Maley, you lose your mind, get a little hysterical, and create an accidental internet sensation.
While out on a kayak trip one day, she saw a bear approaching and told the furry blighter “I’m going to pepper spray you in the face!”. However, Mary failed to take into account that the bears limited formal education meant that it had little or no grasp on the English language.
Rather pissed off, the bear walks away, but sets it’s sights on Mary’s kayak, and that’s when when she loses her shit, in the most adorable way.
“Get away from that kayak. Come here. Come on. Stop it, bear. Bear! … Bear, you’re breaking it, you’re breaking my kayak. Why are you doing that? Why are you breaking my kayak?” At no point did the bear answer.
Instead it continued to nuzzle and paw at her kayak, so Mary continued her futile attempts at negotiation. “Please stop, gosh darn it. Why are you doing that, bear. Please stop bear… Please stop breaking my things. It’s not even food. It doesn’t even taste good. Bear please stop. Bear please stop.”
It didn’t. Happily, however, Mary wasn’t hurt in the attack, and the bear quickly recovered from being pepper sprayed in the face. Her kayak broken, Mary swam to a nearby anchored boat and used the radio to get in touch with a nearby passing boat who came to her rescue.