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Camping, Bushcraft & Survival

23 Ways To Make A Camping Trip Really Really Awkward

Here's how to guarantee a crap camping trip for everyone.

Nine times out of ten, camping trips are really great. The smiles, the laughs, the clean air, that rush which only comes with getting back to nature; good times indeed. However, occasionally, along comes a camping trip that’s so painfully awkward it temporarily makes you question whether you ever want to go on a camping trip again.

Everything goes wrong. Literally, everything. Whether it’s because someone says the wrong thing, does the wrong thing, or tries to fundamentally alter the dynamics of a winning formula with their choice of camping location; these trips can often stay in your memory longer than those adventures you actually enjoyed.

Below are some of the highly awkward and extremely crap things you can do to make everyone’s time in the outdoors really rubbish (don’t do these things, people will hate you).

1) Get caught doing a poo.

 

2) Initiate a campfire sing-a-long.

 

3) Bring a hunting rifle and start shooting at birds.

4) Punch a wild bear in the face.

 

 5) Have loud sex with the door shut.

 

6) Have quiet sex with the door open.

7) Get weird with nature.

 

8) Run around like Kate Bush.

 

9) Tell your fellow campers that this would be a great spot to murder someone and hide the body.

10) Casually whip out the biggest survival knife in the history of survival knives (like it’s no big deal).

 

11) Be responsible for an outbreak of food poisoning after telling everyone you’re an expert on poisonous berries.

 

12) Insist on being naked at all times.

13) Start talking about your “Gap Yah” camping trip in the jungles of Borneo (nobody cares).

 

14) Piss on people’s tents. Tell them it’s how animals mark their territory.

 

15) Sick your food up into other people’s mouths. Tell them it’s how birds feed their young.

16) Find a stick and tell everyone it’s your magic stick.

 

17) Spend the entire camping trip waving your magic stick around and quoting Gandalf.

 

18) Dump a miscellaneous animal carcass in the middle of the campsite.

19) Go full-on Bear Grylls mode. Make people do a variety of disgusting and completely unnecessary things.

 

20) When they question you on the Bear Grylls stuff, repeatedly shout “DO YOU WANT TO SURVIVE THIS TRIP?!” directly into their faces.

 

21) Start listing your favourite military dictatorships in ascending order.

22) Serve your fellow campers undercooked squirrel.

 

23) Burn the entire campsite down!

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