First, split a vanilla pod with a massive knife that wouldn’t look out of place in the hands of Jason Voorhees, scrape the seeds out and put them in a pan. Add honey and mix.

Next, add more honey to your pan and mix again, before spreading it out into a thin layer. Then dump some double cream on top and give it another good old mix before spreading it out again and leaving the pan to chill in a snow bank. Text book.

Back to the weird knife, chop a grapefruit into 2cm thick slices then, over a fire, caramelise some brown sugar in yet another frying pan that you’ve brought to the woods with you.

When the sugar starts bubbling, throw in your slices of grapefruit and let them cook for a few minutes. Then pour in a little Slivovitz. No, we had no idea what Slivovitz is either, but we used a website called Google to find out. It’s a Serbian fruit brandy made from damson plumbs. Kind of like a Balkan Buckfast, presumably.

Cook the sugary, boozy grapefruit for a little longer, then set it aside. Go back to the honey/vanilla/cream mess you made earlier, and throw some (preferably clean) snow in, and give it a good mix. It should end up, according to the video, looking a bit like cottage cheese. Yummy.

Pile this on your grapefruit slices and you’ve got forest ice cream, made from scratch. You know, do that, or just take a freezer box with a Cornetto in it. Either or.

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