You know that scene in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? The one that everyone hated? The one where Shia Labeouf swings through the trees with a troop of monkeys? If you haven’t seen it, don’t subject yourself to such torment. It’s one of the most dreadful moments in cinematic history, and your eyes will hate you for it.

“You know that scene in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? The one that everyone hated?”

Going forward, this kayaker will have more reason than most to avoid watching such an infamous crime against cinema. While he was kayaking in Catemaco, Mexico recently a crazed-monkey (presumably called Shia) came swinging out of the trees and attacked him. We say “attacked”, it was more of an aggressive attempt to steal the man’s life-vest.

If this footage doesn’t feature in the final cut of the next ‘Dawn Of The Start Of The Beginning Of The Planet Of The Apes’ film we’ll eat our banana-hats.

Daniel Mendoza, who uploaded the video to YouTube, has confirmed that neither the monkeys or the kayakers were injured in the assault.

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