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Maybe One Day… | 17 Sentences a Mountain Biker Will Unfortunately Never Hear

Not in their wildest dreams...

Fresh air, fast tracks and complete and utter freedom. There’s not much to fault with mountain biking when you’re out on the trails – but of course, not even the best sport in the world comes without its drawbacks. Nothing is perfect after all.

While you’re bound to hear a whole host of compliments about your shiny ride, your outdoor life style and the photographs you stick up on your social media after riding, there are some things that it’s unlikely a mountain biker will ever hear in their lifetime. Not unless they’re fast asleep and dreaming.

Here are a few examples…

1. “You know you can actually get that for cheaper down your local bike shop.”

2. “And the great thing about this bike is that it’s actually impossible to break.”

3. “See, now that you’ve explained why your bike is so expensive, I completely understand why you spent so much money on it, and agree with your decision.”

4. “But if you don’t spend that money on a bike, what else are we possibly going to use the cash for?”

5. “It’s amazing how that bike you spent £3000 on is still state of the art now, five years later.”

6. “This self-cleaning mountain bike really has been a game changer.”

7. “Why don’t we just move all that kitchen cleaning equipment outside? We could really use that space for your bike and biking accessories.”

8. “You have the most healthy lower back and knees I’ve seen in all my time in medicine.”

9. “We’d love to give you the role. On one condition – you have to only work mornings and evenings, and spend at least 1-3 hours mountain biking every day.”

10. “Don’t worry, that upgrade actually won’t be too expensive.

11. “Thankfully the hiking, dog walking and horse-riding communities all fought really quite hard for the council to open those new trails to mountain bikers.”

12. “Wow, your friend with the new [insert value here] bike is really keeping level-headed.”

13. “The great thing about these trails is that they quite literally maintain themselves.”

14. “What a coincidence! The landlord for this house is actually looking for someone who is perpetually covered in dirt.”

15. “It’s great how all the cycling community just gets along so well, no matter what kind of bike they ride.”

16. “I love that every one who goes out onto the trails knows not to litter, though it makes sense, because think how horrible it would be if this place was covered in trash!”

17. “You know what? You only seem to be getting faster with every day since your 40th birthday”

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